25 Historical Events That Need Movies ASAP
![25 Historical Events That Need Movies ASAP](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/2/4/1069924_320x180.jpg)
Whenever Hollywood needs a surefire hit, they can always count on the historical epic. It’s a win-win: You get the sweeping fantasy of a Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter movie, but people also get to feel like they’re learning, even if every character is a combination of five different guys and they’re all wearing armor from different time periods. It’s just easy to make the past look cool. There are exciting battles, political intrigue, chariot races. Freaking chariot races, man. They’re sick as hell.
It’s weird, though, that Hollywood keeps drawing from events that need to be embellished when there are so many that are almost too badass to be true. Why make yet another freaking softcore porno about Henry VIII when you could bring viewers a biopic of the bisexual opera sword murderer or the story of the War Bear?
In fact, when r/AskReddit was asked, “What historical event needs a movie?” those exact questions were asked right back.
![pm-me-a-nude-selfy 6y ago Edited 6y ago The full life of Teddy Roosevelt. We usually only hear about the political part, but that man was interesting as hell.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/9/9/1067099.jpg)
![Aeon1508 6y ago A movie about the prison debate team that beat Harvard](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/9/8/1067098.jpg)
![JohnDaBarr 6y ago The Battle for Castle Itter. aka that time when forward elements of the US Army AND Wehrmacht fought against the SS in the defense of a medieval castle in 1945.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/9/6/1067096.jpg)
![cman349 6y ago Edited 6y ago The Indian soldiers perspective from World War II on the Eastern Burma front. Some of the fiercest fighting in those jungles, and like only 20% of casualties were even reported. Some really heroic stories from the pioneers there as well Edit: I had not 1 but 2 great granduncles that were killed fighting there and only recently even knew they existed](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/9/7/1067097.jpg)
![fecksprinkles 6y ago The mutiny of the Batavia. It has everything: the Dutch East India company, a mutiny (obviously), piracy, a shipwreck, rape, massacres, cannibalism, and a rescue against all odds by the ship's officers who rowed a fucking lifeboat from southern Western Australia to Jakarta. It even has a justice boner ending.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/8/9/1067089.jpg)
![wilsonh915 6y ago The French Revolution is sadly underrepresented in film. Part of the reason is that it's a sprawling complex event with numerous potential starting and stopping points. It would be a feat to contain any kind of coherent history of the whole thing in the space of a reasonable length movie. However, there are so many little stories and dramas within the revolution that could be adapted - the Vendee uprising, Robespierre's fall, his relationship with Danton (yes, I'm aware of the Wajda film), the women's march on Versailles, the trial of the king or queen. We could go on](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/8/8/1067088.jpg)
![DrColdReality 6y ago The toughest town in the wild west, Palisade, Nevada. Just about everything people believe about the wild west is a myth. In particular, the notion that it was a violent place with nearly nonstop gun battles was purely a creation of the dime novels of the time. Actually, wild west towns tended to be generally peaceful, boring places. The big cities of the east had much higher rates of violence. Most towns forbade the carrying of weapons in town. But in the late 1870s, the town of Palisade decided they wanted to give the eastern dandies passing](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/9/3/1067093.jpg)
![Keeetmon 6y ago The Story of Ewart Grogan: 1. Expelled from school and Cambridge University 2. Falls in love with Gertrude Watt 3. Stepfather disapproves of the match 4. Agrees to walk the full length of Africa (Cape town to Cairo) to prove his worth 5. Does It's pretty epic he gets chased by cannibals, stalked by lions and plagued by parasites. Just feel like he's a very cool, not very well known explorer.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/8/5/1067085.jpg)
![Adamant_Narwhal 6y ago the 1944 Battle for Leyte Gulf. It's basically several smaller battles that all took place almost simultaneously, and it's got every kind of naval warfare you could want. You want battleships dukeing it out? Battle of Surigao Strait. You want a lot of planes and dogfights? Battle of the Sibuyan Sea. You want desperation, tension, and all around badass-I'm-not-crying- sacrifice? Battle off Samar. I mean, dudes were flying planes with little to no armament against battleships as they watched their carriers get overtaken and destroyed, then they had to land on the actual island of Leyte, where](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/9/4/1067094.jpg)
![InfamousMedusa 6y ago A irreverent, comedy biopic of Julie D'Aubigny, directed by Paul Feig. Julie D'Aubigny was a 17th-century bisexual French opera singer and fencing master who killed or wounded at least ten men in life-or-death duels, performed nightly shows on the biggest and most highly-respected opera stage in the world, and once took the Holy Orders just so that she could sneak into a convent and bang a nun.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/9/1/1067091.jpg)
![aiandi 6y ago The story of Ching Shih, the richest and most successful pirate to have ever lived. SHE commanded a fleet 40,000 strong and retired to live to a ripe, old age.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/8/6/1067086.jpg)
![Occupier_9000 6y ago Edited 6y ago Witold Pilecki's life. Homeboy was a resistance fighter in the Warsaw Uprising*, not longer after he had himself purposely thrown into Auschwitz so that he could organize a slave revolt from within the camp.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/8/7/1067087.jpg)
![. 6y ago Less a historical event and more a neat story, Wojtek the Brown Bear was a bear adopted by Polish soldiers that left the Soviet union. The bear drank with the men, wrestled with them, and I believe even fought with them. In order to pay for his rations he was enlisted and promoted to the rank of Corporal. Не lived out his days in the Edinburgh Zoo, and his old soldier friends would go and visit him, and he would recognize them as an old friend. I thought it would be a great good-feelings movie.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/9/2/1067092.jpg)
![Dear_Leader1948 6y ago The (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Athletics_at_the_1904_Summer_Olympics_- _Men%27s_marathon) is pretty damn weird. Lack of water and extreme heat nearly killed multiple racers. One participant hitched a ride for much of the way, claimed victory, and was subsequently exposed. A Cuban lost all of his money, had to make his own clothes for racing, ate some rotten apples, got sick, and somehow made it in the top four. There was also a French guy who may have not even participated since he lost his papers. TL;DR, 14 of 32 initial competitors finished. Movie could pretty much check off every](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/9/0/1067090.jpg)
![mjk1093 6y ago The War of the Insane - French vs. Hmong in Indochina. You could just title the movie the name of the actual war. The Hmong leader regularly climbed trees to receive orders from God, and his forces managed to independently re-invent the cannon.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/9/5/1067095.jpg)
![Tackbracka 6y ago Vercingetorix and the Battles of Gergovia and Alesia Не was an Gaulic chieftain who tried to unify the Gaulic tribes against Julius Caesar .](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/8/4/1067084.jpg)
![DaemonTheRoguePrince . 6y ago The Thirty Years War needs an HBO Series akin to Rome. It's causes are ridiculous and its impact massive.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/7/9/1067079.jpg)
![yaxkongisking12 6y ago The Grand Mosque Seizure in Месса In 1979, Islamic extremists in Месса took over the Grand Mosque and held anyone inside hostage to demand the overthrow of the House of Saud. The hostage crisis lasted for months until both Saudi guards and a few members of an elite French military unit stormed Месса and fought the terrorists and liberated the Mosque.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/8/1/1067081.jpg)
![etymologynerd 6y ago When that one guy in the USSR decided not to nuke us](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/8/2/1067082.jpg)
![PMMe_PaypalMoney_PLS 6y ago dels- When people danced to death, like a gritty version of Footloose.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/8/3/1067083.jpg)
![hotrod13 6y ago The assassination of Franz Ferdinand needs a dark comedy.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/7/6/1067076.jpg)
![caisblogs 6y ago Great fire of London done ridiculous action disaster movie style](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/7/8/1067078.jpg)
![shadybacon- 6y ago The fall of Constantinople (I know the Turks made a movie of this but it doesn't count). I want to see a movie from the point of view of the Byzantines as their 2000 year old empire finally dies](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/7/5/1067075.jpg)
![6y ago The Haitian Slave Revolution. Slaves overthrowing their owners and establishing their own nation? How has this not been done?](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/8/0/1067080.jpg)
![6y ago The Great Emu War directed by Taika Waititi.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/7/7/1067077.jpg)