26 of the Funniest Tweets from October 23, 2023

Talk about shortchanging someone
26 of the Funniest Tweets from October 23, 2023

Taylor Swift is quickly approaching other pop sensations like Michael Jackson and The Beatles when it comes to generating mass hysteria and pandamonium — even without being present. Over the weekend, rumors swirled that the singer and new beau Travis Kelce were dining together at a Connecticut restaurant, causing throngs of young fans to show up waiting for a glimpse of the duo. With Swift’s longtime friends Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively owning a house in nearby Pound Ridge, the rumor was reasonable enough. 

However, the restaurant manager assured local news outlets that the two weren’t at the establishment and called local authorities to wave off the crowd. What could have possibly started this wildfire rumor that the couple were at a random restaurant in the middle of Connecticut? Two scarecrows dressed like the pair. No need to adjust your screen, you read that right. The Swifties can at least hang their friendship bracelets on the fact that these were contest-winning scarecrows and not just some duds. 

Whereas one couple was a no-show, another couple was a surprise show. Snoop Dogg celebrated his 52nd birthday this weekend with the help of his brothers: Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly. The Step Brothers duo surprised the rapper with a three-tier cake and special performances of “Boats ‘N Hoes” and “Gin & Juice” during a benefit show at L.A.’s Greek Theatre. Here’s hoping the cake didn’t taste like nachos and Lemonheads. 

The timeline has shown up for us today, starting the week off right with some seriously hilarious tweets. Today’s best include those about someone who wants to give a rat a gun, a muppet with some serious drip and man’s best friend: The Yellow Pillow. 

T @trinawatters 22h imagine being Taylor Swift's private jet pilot thinking you'll be travelling the world just to end up in Kansas City for the 7th time this month @PopBase.2 23h Pop Base Taylor Swift getting ready to watch Travis Kelce's game. K KANSA CHIEF 35 953 33.6K 1.9M
joel @hellasmelly 1d ... when i was like 5 years old i snapped my fingers at a waiter cause i saw it in a movie and my mom yelled at me so much i started crying 2 4 Handsome В. Charming 9:50 pm 5 145 4,215 del 107K
cinesthetic. @TheCinesthetic 17h ... MINDER DVD NEVER BEIN KISSED I like to rent happy movies and have a happy time. Ooh The Shining! 20 1,023 7,854 274K
bobby wasabi @bobbyteriyaki 22h ??? gen Z life expectancy gonna be 34 R mor @moristiko. 1d when the pen taste like Honda Civic exhaust but it still gets you faded 24 648 12.1K 660K
Meesh Hell @waziot 3h ... Crazy name for a baby JCDecaux MAKE SURE MR. CHUCKLES IS IN THE RIGHT SEAT. NHTSA.gov/TheRightSeat ad NHTSA COUNCIL 176 2,697 74K 15
mady @madisonbrek . 1d Guy waking up in saw trap if Saw was British: right. what's all this then 4 3,014 22.7K 772K
hlsslngfauna @hlsslngfauna 17h ... (Eating baby food) actually it's just not for kids. And it has darker undertones and themes 12 1,141 6,486 del 156K
chase @_chase 22h me and my 47 alarms 91 7,863 61K 1.8M
good reddit @GoodReddit - 19h ... r/holdmycatnip 7h Join My baby idiot watching her favorite show - Carbonated Beverage JUICY PEACH - 26 3,748 51K 1.5M
Arwen @OATMILKLATTE-22h Edgar Allen Poe in 1845 runny noze @ArtyLang.22h Jesus Christ the Ravens 12 4,402 21K 911K
mrs papaw @mrsballs69.1d ... I am NOT a CoComelon parent; you goin sit down and watch it's always sunny in philadelphia 13 1,973 16.3K 522K
rat facts, PhD @shwauby. 23h ... Finally, a cause worth supporting change.org III Petition details Comments Updates give rats gun rights Started October 31, 2021 Petition to Everyone 64 100 Signatures Next Goal 67 1,744 11.5K 367K
amelia elizalde @ameliaelizalde 18h ... you wouldn't even notice the fit if it was on someone else. but put it on a guy with a perfect body and everyone goes nuts Gavin @PrimaryCinema•1 18h THE FIT GOES so HARD TikTok @ senilecrocodites GONZO - - a Garan Grow The UNIVERSITY - Bus 21 3,514 42.1K 1.7M
wild (tiktok) screenshots @... . 1d ... ل my roman empire is when i i was in a dress and told him i was cold and he took off his jacket, so i thought he was gonna let me wear it but he said it's not that cold and put it back on 339.6K ... 3644 101 2,007 51.3K 1.4M
m @liIpochaco.20h this is so funny My simple pleasures I'm 6'5 but, say I'm 6'1 to see the panic on other dudes faces. 29 1,580 33.3K 644K
marisa @INCERTAESEDIS. 1d ... recently I ordered a vodka soda and the bartender went what soda? coke? and I was so taken aback it took me a second to be like no club soda. then he went ohhhh you want a whiteclaw so I was like no a vodka soda? and then he was like alright what soda? like am I having a stroke 12 81 3,999 79.9K
ben @funko_wop 19h trying a new approach to online dating My greatest strength not poly F 26 6' n Ruchwink 27 727 15.2K 425K
helena @freshhel l.16h The unfortunate trade off for modern women.. you have to get 9 abortions in order to find denim shorts that fit really good AlphaFoX @Alphafox78.1d This picture makes me so sad... 70 VS ATL SO 080 NO URA 117 4,217 77.8K 2.9M
Ms. Grace Kuhlenschmidt @... 23h ... this is probably so popular at monsters university $19 $8 64 5,961 126K 3.3M
cam @largemotorcycle • 1d ... Gf is mad at me because I have revealed to her The Yellow Pillow. Fellas, i'm sure you all know that this thing is magic 500 4,230 63.3K 4.5M
sumo* @camkrda. 1d oh i be strokin somethin alright abc ABC7 Eyewitness... 10/22/18 CANNABIS CRISIS: A new study finds that smoking marijuana could increase stroke risk abc7.la/2yvWG7R NOW AT 4PM MARIJUANA USE LINKED TO STROKE RISK EYEWITNESS NEWS 60 5,128 43.3K 1.9M
helena @freshhel.1d ... This is literally exactly how i start acting around my boyfriends parents 16 2,008 34.6K del 1.3M
kenzi @kenzianidiot. 1d ... i lost the pumpkin carving contest which is insane 103 2,494 52.2K 1.2M
... @RICKYRAGE- 2d this the type of greed people get sent to KEED hell for WSI UBLE STUF THE OREO MOST STUF 440 4 COOKIES CHAMPIONS SAMONTICH COOKIES WETWT 3OZ 135g) agaon THE OREO 4 COOKIES Social OREO THE MOST STUF NYT A - 440 4 CALORIES MALFACE - CHOCOLATE SANDWICH COOKIES NET WT 3 OZ 085g) COOKIES - SALARGO 10 - POTAT OREO THE MOST STUF 440 PROT 4 COOKIES san runner mones NETWT3OZIEGA 30003 8 nutre 181K 5,164 390 33
messed up foods @messedu... 1d ... My favorite part of eating a Reese's ...is taking off its lil' panties. 134 3,010 35.8K del 1.8M
No Context Brits @NoConte... 1d ... Jon Bon Jovi: Liam Gallagher was giving me nuisance phone calls for over a decade. God knows how he got my number. Не would ring at 3 or 4 in the morning, just to tell me my music was shit. Sometimes he would call me the bastard son of Richard Branson and other times he would shout Lionhead down the phone until I hung up. In the end I offered to pay him $500,000 and begged him to stop. Не told me to eat shit. 466 1,505 15.3K del 2.4M
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