21 Funny Things That Have Happened in a Church

One pastor mixed up Sasquatch and Squanto… repeatedly
21 Funny Things That Have Happened in a Church

Church is a pretty humorless place. Occasionally, there’s a member of the clergy who seems like he used to do stand-up before committing to the man upstairs, but it’s a totally different tone. Imagine a Seinfeld-loving priest doing a “What’s the deal with Jesus turning water into wine?” bit in the middle of a sermon. It doesn’t exactly bring the laughs. 

That said, these Redditors managed to have a little tee-hee in their place of worship. From destroying idols to accidentally ushering in nightclub vibes, here are some of the funniest things they’ve experienced in a church…

Bacon gbacon . 13y A preacher who's now with another congregation has a son who was strong-willed when he was young. During one sermon, the boy was misbehaving, so his wife picked up their son and was carrying him out to discipline him. Knowing what was coming, the son shouted, Pray for me! It took several minutes for everyone to stop laughing. ... Reply 14
anthropology_nerd . 13y Christian (Chi Rho) My pastor was telling a story about preparing his son for the school Thanksgiving play and said his son was playing the part of Sasquatch (when he meant Squanto). Не made the mistake several times and never corrected himself. I laughed fairly loud, thinking he was joking but no one else in the congregation caught the slip. The pastor went on with the story and I spent the rest of the sermon suppressing my laughter from imagining the Pilgrims encountering Bigfoot in Massachusetts. ... Reply 6
LaunchPad_DC 13y One of the church's I play drums for uses an electric drum kit because the space is too small to facilitate and actual kit.. well, during the last song of the service (slow praise chorus) my notebook started sliding off the control panel for the kit (didnt have a music stand) and i reached over to keep it from falling all of the way off, and when i pinned it to the control panel i pressed the Play button for one of the play along samples. It was a techno sample. I managed to turn it off after about
NutellaFriend 8y My husband and I visited a pretty established Baptist church in the area. Since we were looking for a new church home, we attended the orientation class that they offer after the service for those interested in learning more about what the church believes and how to become members. The class was led by a sweet older lady, and started out as well as could be expected for someone who has probably been there for decades and taught this subject over the same time. Somewhere in the middle, she gets to the core belief that the church is
kashisaur . 13y Verbum Domini Manet in Aeternum I once had a Sunday school teacher who was also an attorney. One week, she was in trial and totally over- extended at work. Her closing prayer went something like this: Let us pray. Your Honor, we wish to thank you... No one could stop laughing. ... Reply 2
ttgrules . 8y One time I visited a new church with my father. The sermon that day was on Idols, and the pasted brought in a wooden tiki head as a prop. At the end of the message, he and a congregation member carried the idol outside to a courtyard, saying we had to destroy our idols. Then I heard the chainsaw start. ... Reply 38
NeofelisNight . 1 1y I wish I was making this up, but this one time I came across what I thought was a lost child, when I asked where his parents were, he proceeded to punch me as hard as he could in the balls and ran off. ... 6
 13y ... my dad, who tends to have gas a lot, ripped one during a very serious sermon. it was fairly loud, with the natural sound amplified by the wooden pew. my brothers and i giggled, and some people around gave my dad the stink eye, and we thought that was it. then the smell hit me, a pungent cross between skunk and rotten eggs. my dad was repentant, but it did strike him funny that the foul odor was going to embarrass him even more than the sound. he stifled a giggle, which set me and my brothers
BrandNewSidewalk 8y Christian (Cross) When I was a kid, I was in church and the pastor was giving the sermon. All of a sudden he just stops and doubles over laughing. Apparently, he had some sort of temporary caps on his teeth for a pending dental procedure, and they bumped the microphone and fell out onto the podium. Не finally recovered, explained what happened, and finished the service without his two front teeth. There were gags about the toothless preacher for about 2 years after that, including a themed beanbag toss at a fall festival. In that same church (Baptist),
 8y ... A cat walked in and walked down the aisle an laid down near the altar rail and went to sleep. 79 Reply
just-as-lost . 4y My baby cousin pulled a lady's wig off as she was being carried out of the sacrament meeting chapel kicking and screaming. ... 9
AaronBurrSer . 5y The first time I realized I was gay was at church camp. Counselor had all of us confessing and crying about porn, when it suddenly dawned on me : all the other guys are talking about looking at women. ... 19
Needleworkerlcy2553 . . 1y Once the priest was shouting about modern living and blow drys and shouted blow Jobs, me and my mother roared ... takes little to amuse us lol
Latter_Mood7161 . 75d My three-year-old daughter pulled the fire alarm in the foyer during Sacrament meeting. The bishop figured that it was a mistake and told everyone to sit tight while they got it figured out, but some old lady with dementia started crying and screaming. The people around her were trying to calm her while my husband and I tried to help alleviate the situation. It was super embarrassing. (My daughter is 15 years old now and LOVES this story. She says it's totally metal. ) ... Reply 82
A40 . 8y I had a bad asthma attack when the priest walked by with incense. At a Christmas mass. Ambulance, etc. Broke up the whole service. It was supposed to be a charming remembrance of traditional rites. They didn't mention incense. ... 3
Geosaurusrex . . 8y I went to my friend's baptism to be a good, supporting friend to her. I tripped, nearly fell down the stairs and shouted OH JESUS!. ... 1
IranRPCV . 10y During a memorial service for a deceased member, a friend of mine who had forgotten to silence her cell phone had it go off. That was bad enough, but her ring tone made it much more embarrassing- It was Queen's another one bites the dust ... 14
unusualness . 1y when my youngest brother was getting his baptism my second youngest brother started to dip his hand in the holy water and also tried to drink it. ... 4
RazarTuk . 8y Anglo-Catholic I caught my hair on fire at the Easter Vigil once. In high school. I was mesmerized by the melting wax and lost track of the flame. ... Reply 4
PKtheworldisaplace . 7y My friend was in church with his mother and his phone rang in the middle of church. She went to grab his phone in anger, but accidentally grabbed his raging erection. Don't know why he had a boner in church. ... 2
Filtaido . 7y Pastor had us shake hands and greet each other before we sat down. Woman in front of me sneezed in my face. Her dentures ricocheted off my glasses. ... 40
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