12 Meritorious Bits of Trivia You Have Earned the Right to Sew Onto Your Sash
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Congratulations, scout. You put in the hard work, and today’s the day it all finally pays off. While your peers were out playing sports and going on dates, you stayed at home, boning up on each of our esteemed areas of study. From Bird Farts, to Pigeon Poop, to JesusWeen, you’re an expert in all of our core competencies. And it is now my distinct honor to award you these badges to commemorate your achievement. It’s no exaggeration to say that this is the proudest moment of your life.
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About 40 Percent of Ants Are Quiet Quitting
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Almost half of the ants in any colony are reserves, just killing time until they’re needed (if, say, a predator wipes out a huge portion of the workers). At the most, they’re grooming or puking nutrients into the mouths of the actual workers.
JesusWeen: An Inauspicious Alternative to Halloween
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JesusWeen is an apparently earnest, unfortunately named holiday that some religious weirdos want to replace Halloween. It’s a day of gift-giving and talking to your neighbors about Jesus, which just happens to fall on October 31st. The movement’s Twitter profile hasn’t been updated since 2016, but someone is still paying for JesusWeen.com.
America Makes Over 1,000 New Millionaires Every Day
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Things may have changed a bit since this study dropped in 2016, but at the time, it was calculated that 1,700 Americans became millionaires every day.
Birds Don’t Really Fart
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They have different gut bacteria than we do, and their intestinal tract is shorter, so gas is never really produced or stored in quantities that could be defined as a fart.
Someone Sued Cap’n Crunch for Not Using Real Crunchberries
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A woman accused Cap’n Horatio Magellan Crunch of false advertisement because he’s often shown “thrusting a spoonful of ‘crunchberries’ at the prospective buyer,” yet there are no real berries to be found in his cereal. A judge responded: “This court is not aware of, nor has plaintiff alleged the existence of, any actual fruit referred to as a ‘crunchberry.’”
Apple Launched a Doofy Clothing Line in the 1980s
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Apple can’t seem to get anything right without Steve Jobs. He left the company in 1985, and the next year they released a catalog of absolute goofball branded clothes — plus accessories like keychains, pocket knives and a folding director’s chair. You could even buy Apple-branded windsurfing equipment if you were a relentless Mac dweeb.
3 Musketeers Used to Make Sense
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When the candy bar dropped in 1932, it was made up of three pieces that could be broken apart and shared: one chocolate, one strawberry, one vanilla. World War II rationing forced them to scale back on the vanilla and strawberry, and just stick to their unique chocolatey foam filling.
The U.K. Briefly Had a 9-1-1 for Rogue Traffic Cones
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For three years in the 1990s, there was a government phone number to call if you noticed a traffic cone that looked suspicious. They eventually dropped it when people pointed out there was probably a better use of public funds than maintaining and staffing a road cone hotline.
Dogs Reserve Their Left Nostril for Special Occasions
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As they’re gathering information (which is almost always what they’re doing), they sniff through their right nostril. When they’re examining something they’re already familiar with, or have determined that something is food, they open up their left nostril and go to town.
Americans Used to Call Avocados ‘Alligator Pears’
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The word “ahuacatl“ in Nahuatl has two meanings: avocado, and testicle. English speakers tried their best, god bless ‘em, and started calling them “avogado pears.” That in turn was misunderstood as “alligator pears.”
Humans Can Jump Farther Than Horses
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The longest human long jump is longer than the longest horseback long jump. The record for non-wind-assisted long jump is 8.95 meters, set by Mike Powell in 1991. The horse record is a scant 8.4 meters, set by Andre Ferreira on his horse named “Something,” set in 1975.
The Royal Crown Owns All British Pigeon Shit
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When King George I of England figured out that pigeon poop could be used to produce gunpowder, he called dibs on all the pigeon dook in the U.K.