28 of the Funniest Tweets from October 18, 2023

She’s pedaling for her life. Humiliating
28 of the Funniest Tweets from October 18, 2023

Looks like George Santos isn’t the only person snatching babies. To get into the holiday spirit, Hocus Pocus director Kenny Ortega sat down with Entertainment Weekly to talk all things Sanderson Sisters. When asked about his favorite scene that was left on the cutting room floor, Ortega described a scene that saw Mary Sanderson take off with a child in a grocery cart, spurring a hectic chase through a supermarket. Ortega said that they “then had a party” and part of that party involved the “improvisational genius” of Kathy Najimy, Bette Midler and Sarah Jessica Parker. Naturally, some of that party “had to be left behind because of length and timing.”

Speaking of holiday news, Disney+ is already getting people into the Christmas spirit. Tim Allen is yet again reprising his role as Santa for Season Two of the streamer’s holiday series The Santa Clauses. The Home Improvement actor’s Jolly Old Saint Nick will be joined by Eric Stonestreet, who is playing an angry 14th century version of the bearded gift giver, and Tracy Morgan as the Easter Bunny. 

Meanwhile, the timeline has yet again blessed us with the gift of laughter. Today’s funny tweets include those about a cross-species sandwich, a pizza slice of biblical proportions and a Fantasy Football punishment so cruel even Jigsaw would blush.

rob @OkButStill.12h your mid 20's is about buying a candle called whiskey and oak that smells so bad you lose your security deposit 9 261 4,598 du 153K
moesha @Gorillazoey1012.21h ... Like what the hell moesha @Gorillazoey1012-21h I'm thinking about that kids next door operative inspired by brother mouzone form the wire again 26 1,566 6,348 441K
callie actually @eggshellfriend 15h ... If i was a girl cat and i saw a boy cat get the zoomies that would be such an ick 21 1,816 20.6K del 554K
cj- @cjnieI. 9h ... this is how people who stand in the aisle as soon as the plane lands look 5 243 2,637 77.2K
skanks @skanks17.15h one time my buddy lost at fantasy and we made him comment guess my invite got lost in the mail on every wedding post on Instagram 85 2,730 del 93.2K
Shaun Johnson @sexwithurun... . 18h ... Texting my dad pictures of Megan the Stallion asking if she can come over for thanksgiving 4 185 2,635 130K
big fifi @bigsnugga 14h this is the gluttony they spoke of in the bible The Wild Wild Breast @Sl... 19h Interestinggg. Peanut butter & bacon pizza... Buffalo an All America City 211 likes macysplacepizzeria Peanut Butter & Bacon Provolone and Mozzarella 3 25 241 27.4K
i i dont have a name @de4dna... 20h ... cant stop giving cars in front of me little kisses like mwah 24 442 4,702 153K
Charlie White @CharlieWhite_... 18h ... Pointless having mates if they haven't got you like this Heaco Retirement Savings Plan TESCO Expression or wish DICTION - - SAMPA - SKICO prime - Do you want £110,000 if I die during my employment at Tesco Hahahh Yes 32 322 11.7K 471K
Nick Miller @NickMillerMusic 14h ... You gotta keep your head on a swivel living in the big city... danger lurks around every corner... 9 171 2,199 59.2K
laura @ecto_fun . 15h this is like Pokémon Go to me, i'd be visiting the Many Rats stations every day a @ANT2RA 1d 4 This station has many rats 149 St - Grand Concourse is ranked 10th rattiest of 445 NYC Subway stations 27 1,226 17.5K 854K
hannah @dumbandfunn.20h - ОК, I'm ready. Put it in. - It is in. Brian @TheHalfBloodLad. 1d 'Okay, I'm ready, put it in' I said and he replied: It is already in. My world collapsed ... 18 13.4K 1,152 701K
Keyana.Alicia @KeyanaAlicia 1d ... When the DJ going crazyyyyy.... Torque - DINEPO 4-0 LADRES and 66 1,983 5,391 578K
Zack Bornstein @ZackBornstein 15h It is journalistic malpractice to keep interviewing this woman NEW YORK New York Post POST @nypost . 1 19h Jada Pinkett Smith built a 'beautiful' secret sex room for her and Will Smith trib.al/De5hYvX f o DOD 41 863K 874 19.5K
Brooklyn @bklynb4by 21h ... how it feels to be on public transport with no airpods FX 5 563 7,365 del 172K
muñeco @redpantheress. 21h ... 000 byr69n 1h ... X From Create Mode > Bored at work making my coworkers rank one another in front of eachother 1 213 2,424 83.5K
wargen @funeralpig. 1d i used to go fucking nuts on this thing all the doctors would come out and lose their minds watching me wreck this shit at blazing speeds 13 1,118 12.8K 340K
Vinny Thomas @vinn_ayy 15h ... A dollar a year? brother i would not pay an acorn a decade philip lewis @Phil_Lewis_. 15h X, the platform formerly known as Twitter, will reportedly begin charging new users $1 a year to access key features including the ability to tweet, reply, quote, repost, like, bookmark, and create lists buff.ly/3M1X9Vd V OLOGY 100 4,099 51.5K 1.5M
Lisa @lisalimbaugh 16h ..... Sprint LTE 12:09 PM 69% Messages Shirley Temple Details WTF you put in my soup??? Animal crackers This good af, need to get in the studio ASAP 142 1,660 49.4K
manic pixie cheese curd, MPH 20h ... Working In Office is SOOOO degrading why am I biking 3 miles in slacks at 8 am with a jar of beef stew in my backpack 8 405 10.4K 305K
@AyeReggie• 16h ... Verizon talking about trade in any iPhone in any condition for the 15 I brought in my iPhone 6 and they beat me the fuck up 22 779 5,507 del 1.1M
Low Context Media @Conf... 23h ... Today 5:23 PM white women jumpscare Delivered Today 8:13 PI UR SICK iMessage Cash 52 6,163 82.4K 2M
Transparent Mouse @bfafleck.2 22h ... Me being escorted out of a bottomless brunch after 4 hours. CUSTOGE OILY MONEY T 23 267 3,490 195K
@lemoncarcass. 16h got in an elevator and this dog was just alone in it????? 12 IN T 10 f 1 or 5 P4 P3 J P2 2 P1 *LC H W 434 4,428 58.4K 2.4M
jackson @placed_onto 22h ... you shouldn't have to Look up what Streaming service has tom and jerry, it should be a Public work, there should be a Button on every remote that puts on some Cartoons, it should be as Seamless as a Light switch 3 716 5,768 del 136K
a @ANT2RA.1d ... 4 This station has many rats 149 St - Grand Concourse is ranked 10th rattiest of 445 NYC Subway stations 209 4,529 50.4K 1.7M
Big Civilian @fadecorner.2 22h ... Somebody just ordered 3 baconators with no bacon and when I asked them if they just wanted a regular burger, they got mad at me... CC 0:11 91 2,059 12.7K 536K
@jeggings 20h ... those animals dont even hang out together this is fucking nuts NATALIE HATE CLUB @202... .1d Double filet o fish add bacon 176 5,078 31.9K 1.6M
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