31 of the Funniest Reasons People Were Dumped

The headlights on your car might mean it’s dumpin’ time
31 of the Funniest Reasons People Were Dumped

“It’s not you, it’s me” and “you deserve better” have become cliché. People are now coming up with much more creative reasons for ending a relationship. For example: One person was dumped because of the headlights on their car. Another got broken up with because they made their partner smile too much. 

Those are just a couple of the bizarre explanations these Redditors have been given for why their relationship couldn’t possibly last. And while there are likely rational reasons bubbling beneath the surface that went unsaid, it’s much more entertaining to take these excuses at face value.

STREET iamkokonutz . 3y My ex's cat was named Ben. The girl I was dating's cat was named Bundles. One day, I called Bundles, Ben. She asked me what I just called her cat. I thought about it, and then remembered that was my ex's cat's name. I laughed and told her and she was super unimpressed. Broke up with me the next day. ... 10.3k
Buegs . . 3y We have to break up. I mean, we can't even get married... you're allergic to fish! She chose the occasional tuna sandwich over me. I laughed and still tell the story so I guess it's a win! ... 3.8k
lintrules . 3y I got dumped because the headlights on my car didn't come on automatically when I started my car. I'm assuming he had other reasons, but this is what I was told. And I love laughing at it! ... 1.8k
raider34 . Зу Shared this before here, but this has and will always take the cake for me. College GF's Dad won 1 million dollars in the state lottery over winter break. Broke up with me over the phone, telling me now that I'm rich, I can't afford to date regular people like you. That's really the only thing wrong, you're just regular. ... 9.1k
ryanhedden1 . : Зу She found out the truck I was driving was owned by my mom ... 12k
CodeEnd . 3y Made a girl smile too much. She had braces and it cut up the inside of her mouth. ... 8.7k
itisSUNNYinhere . 3y We went to rival colleges and I had graduated from the bad one. Yep. ... 1k
Mother-Bored . . 3y One of my exes dumped me saying that he wanted to be like paul from the bible... ... 6k
gingerbakes . . 3y My boyfriend broke up with me because he was moving away to go to puppet school. ... 4.6k
rosiedoes . 3y She thought I killed her horse (it wasn't actually her horse) with voodoo (it hung itself) because I was jealous (it was a horse.) ... 16.4k
PortugueseBenny . 3 3y I wish I still had the text... ... Long story short. She was mad I DIDN'T grab her ass ... In public.. On our first date ... 13.2k
highpockets1925 . 3y Actually had a guy dump me because I'm a carpenter, and according to him, it's just not lady like
GravyxNips . . 3y I'm a Gemini ... 4k
WaggDagg . 3y God told me not to date you. I'm sorry. And guess what: this happened TWICE. (With two different girls) ... 9.9k
ermrazzo03 . 3y apparently, we didnt come from the same planet (?????) ... 3k
noonehasthisoneyet . 3 3y a girl i i dated texted me that I wanted a relationship and she's not really up for that right now. it was actually because she was taller than me and was afraid of what people would think. i met my wife a week later. ... 1.7k
WannabeaViking • . 3y Apparently I gave her too much anxiety when I bought her a coffee that one morning and she broke up with me the same week
Minerva129 . 3y Dated exclusively for 1.5 yrs. Dumped on Thanksgiving, he forgot to tell me he was getting married that weekend... ... 538
BlackWhiteCat . 3y We had been dating about a month and were carded at a bar. She looked at my ID and saw I was almost two months younger than her. She was mortified and said she doesn't date younger guys because of how immature they are. We went out one more time and that was it.
injunix . Зу I couldn't find the right pair of stockings he liked, solely for his interest in ripping them during sex. When I told him to purchase a pair he liked, he dumped me, claiming I wanted a sugar daddy and not a boyfriend. Lol. Ties with the time a girl dumped me because she thought I was spending too much time with that guy. It was my brother. Who she had met. ... 331
RufusTheDeer Зу My first girlfriend told me once that I loved my dog more than her. I said that I did and she didn't talk to me for a week, which at the time felt like an eternity. We ended up getting back together for another month. She broke up with me because she found these guys at the flee market who were hitting on her, gave them my number, and they called to fight for her. I said no ... 2.3k
paperclip1213 . 3y No reason - at all. Не decided to move to Australia for a while (if that was even true?) and our last conversation was me telling him something like have a safe flight, message me when you have wifi. Не said okay. It's been 7 years and I never got that message. ... 276
ionised . 3y Because I asked her if - - for once -- I could talk about my day. Nope. Not an option. Looking back, thank fuck that happened, but the fallout is still immense. ... 1k
sabwisegamgee . 3y we were dating for 3-4 months and i came over while he was on acid and then a couple days later he told me that whilst tripping he realised i was the antagonist in his life and that we're breaking up ... 1k
freaky_fandom_king . 3y I didnt want to hold his hand when it was covered in ketchup from his burger - - - ... 293
Mmedical 9y Once a woman broke up with me over a very weird conversation...that simply had not ever occurred. She was making references to it. The conversation was apparently over the telephone - Ih had called her at work. I was dumbfounded. I told her that I didn't remember any of this, that I did not even speak with her that day. She refused to believe me and broke up anyway. Just to be certain I wasn't capable of completely forgetting an entire conversation, a couple weeks later I checked my phone bill since her work was long distance and would have
PYRoBU - 9y Alright so this occurred during my Junior High years. Just think early awkward preteens. Anyways I'm riding the bus home with my girlfriend and we were awkwardly holding hands and then her stop comes up. She looks at me grabs my other hand, kisses my cheek, says, you are a cage, and I'm a bird. This is over. And then she walks away and that was the last time I conversed with her. ... 42
PROSTITUTE. 10y My socks never matched. ... 222
jezebelshakes . 10y Не phoned me, met me for coffee, sat me down and said - in a very serious voice - l'm sorry. I don't think we can carry on seeing each other. And it's because you're blonde. And even though I like you a lot, but I just envisage my future with a brunette. Especially funny because: 1. We'd only known each other 2 weeks 2. We'd only slept together once 3. My blonde hair is dyed. I'm actually a brunette. ... 460
whitecollarredneck - 10y It's too weird...your mom is my dentist ... 63
ILL_Show_Myself_Out . 1 10y A girl dumped me for not paying enough attention to her during finals. Finals only last a week and a half! And I'm in law school. ... 401
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