27 Funny, Gross and Completely Wild Tales from Hotel Housekeepers

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27 Funny, Gross and Completely Wild Tales from Hotel Housekeepers

Every day, housekeepers walk into a hotel room and see evidence that God has abandoned us. While yes, they signed up for a job that requires cleaning up after people, there are limits to what human beings should have to experience. Unfortunately, guests haven’t quite figured out that a hotel room is no place for enacting their rib-and-barbecue themed fantasy, or that the housekeeper doesn’t want to accept their threesome invitation.

To that end, the housekeepers of Reddit have shared some of the truly insane things they’ve walked in on — and from the sound of some of their stories, we wouldn’t blame them for cracking into the mini bar and completely emptying it to properly drown their sorrows.

khaliandra . 2y I mean, when you work in housekeeping, things related to sex, drugs, and just general grossness quickly become far less strange, lol. But my favorite story is when I had to get a witness to open a room safe that had been left locked by a guest. Its contents? One Taco Bell bean burrito. Best guess is a particularly drunken guest mistook the safe for the microwave. ... 526

Bangbangsmashsmash 2y My friends family ran a little hotel at the beach. Nothing fancy, but it was oceanfront. My friend once went to a room to clean, and found the ENTIRE place CLEAN. Not just wiped up and etc. the walls and ceilings had been scrubbed, the carpets looked like they had been shampooed, the tub/shower looked brand new (quite an accomplishment at the beach with super hard water and salt spray), the bed frame had been cleaned, the old beach furniture had been cleaned and repaired, the knobs and track on the sliding glass door had been polished, the

leeds_matt 2y I work for a large hospitality company that has multiple brands under its umbrella. One of which is a hotel chain. I'm sent in when sites have refurbs to observe their operations, and do training refresher and brand standards with the teams. The stand out stories managers have told me: A woman booked a room, and requested it be next to a fire exit. The housekeepers are told not to enter a room if a do not disturb sign is on the door, even if the guest should have checked out already. The site manager was called to

azumane . 2y Once cleaned a room where in the bed, the couple left behind both a pair of crotchless panties (ew) and a single, abandoned sock that was pink and had the male/ female symbols linked as a pattern...proof that they are hetero-socks-ual, if you may. I still laugh at that pun. My coworkers never did. ... 39

PaulBlartForever 2y We once had a guest leave behind a massive trunk full of dildos. They were a sex toy salesperson and had several large cases but I guess somehow left one or it was a sales strategy to entice us because they came back to get it We also had a lady who I'm sure had schizophrenia or something who took apart almost anything electronic (alarm clock, tv, lamps, etc) and put alluminum foil over the air vents etc. Also smeared her feces on most of the walls. We lost in court when we tried to seek damages. As

ihaveadarkedge . . 2y A bag of shit, wrapped in a freezer bag and hanging in the free-standing cupboard. This was the Marriot Hotel in Bristol. The previous guests were two lovely ladies. ... 54

Quakermystic . 2y Someone left a huge stack of money inside a Bible. They called and had the money mailed to them. Someone polished their shoes inside the tub .I assume they were wearing them. They used a hotel towel to buff the shoes. Black polish was in the tub, on the rim, and on the toilet. Impossible to clean. They had to pay for the repairs. ... 23

Snelly_WorldCrusher . 2y My wife used to be a housekeeper for some cabins in a state park. One time, one of her co-workers found a brand new pistol tucked behind a dresser. Apparently no one claimed it, so she got to keep it. On another occasion, one of her other co-workers that was extremely religious, found a plate of home-made brownies and ate a couple of them. They turned out to be edibles! She had never had marijuana in any capacity and ended up on the bed, slowly talking about how she thought she was dead and they had to call

Upstairs-Pumpkin-116 - : 2y Someone drew a heart with his sperm in the shower ... 52

mst3k_42 . 2y Worst I ever found was a whole pickle and a used condom in the bathroom trash can. ... 5

wowspace 10y I was a housekeeper at a Disney resort. One day while I was changing sheets I got stuck by a needle. Felt like a wasp had gotten me, only to discover a small syringe attached to my thumb. I called my supervisor once it happened and was driven to the hospital immediately. They were in overdrive because they were afraid what it might have been used for. In the end they figured out it was a insulin shot for a child who had diabetes. The kid forgot to dispose of it properly. Не said he was so excited

epicmegawin 10y Not me, but my mum. She was working in a hotel in aberdeen, scotland in the mid 90's. So there were hundreds of people in this hotel to see some show or something, my mum didn't know what, but the whole city was packed out. Anyway, its almost 3am, and the front desk gets a call. One of the guests is complaining that the next room is making too much noise, so they send my 28 year old mum to deal with it. Turns out there was a huge party in there, and the whole room was wrecked.

johnnytightlips2 . 10y I was once cleaning a room which had been left disgusting (standard food everywhere, condoms under the bed, the usual), but what made this place stand out is I went into the bathroom and they had painted the toilet seat pink. Instead of going to the pool or the beach or the local town or driving around the countryside, they had decided to stay in and paint the toiket seat pink. Weird. ... 18

Crap_Sally 10y I cleaned a room once after Valentines day about five years ago. The occupants decided to have a glitter bath. So they grabbed those big bags of glitter and jammed them into the jets. When I was cleaning it out I hit the button so I wouldn't have to use so much spray to clean up and a giant torpedo of glitter shot out. That fucking tub was shooting glitter for about 6 months. Had a similar issue a while back about 2 months ago. Some kids accidentally broke open one of those microsoft pillows. The ones you

ThatsAStrangeName 10y I was cleaning a room after a guest had checked out and it was nice to see that they had made the bed before leaving. Obviously I was going to have to re- make it with fresh clean sheets but it demonstrated a level of respect for the hotel and staff. Anywhore, I had all the new sheets prepared and I was aware of a small mound underneath the top cover. Not thinking too much of it I pulled it back and something shot out towards me and started flapping in a panic in my face before flying

BigAppleMike. 10y There was this Indian guy who brought a live chicken to his room. Then he sacrificed it inside his room and left a bloody mess everywhere. We told him he had to clean it up, and he did. Не was pretty nice about the whole thing. ... 20

greyhoundpaws.7 7y I had a summer job cleaning hotel rooms. One day a coworker told me she walked into her first room that day and the first thing she saw, neatly arranged on the desk, were 3 dildos, a note saying please wash :) and a 20 crown note (about $2). She didn't. ... 2.8k

WaterWitchOfTheNorth 7y I worked as a house keeper in a small motel for maybe 2 months. One day we had to clean a room covered completely in paper towels. Everything was covered. The bed, the chairs, the floor. Not horrific, but weird. This next one is why I hated my job, and was happy to have gotten fired. We had to clean a room covered in shit. Human poo. On the bed, on the towels. Every where but the toilet. The towels were twisted, and covered like they had been shoved up someone's rectum. And to top it all off,

the_lock . 7y We had a lady who cleaned hotels tell us about the time she walked in and there were 10 severed heads in the bathtub with the hotel water running. Immediately left the room and had the manager call the police. Tons of police come to investigate with multiple guys with ear pieces in place. The gentlemen who's room it was came back and was immediately taken down. Turns out he was in charge of an ENT cadaver lab being held the next AM and needed to thaw the specimens. Tough to explain but it got sorted out

Sweet_Butter_Cup 9y Room service staff here. Found an empty packet of anal beads left on a tray table. Had to explain to a curious thai colleague what they're for. ... 15

ciko91 . 9y When i was a housekeeper at the Marriott Hotel in Hamburg Germany and a dude left no tip for me but a message saying: I love Hamburg and Reeperbahn (a place where lots of Prostitution is going on there). I took a girl with me home and I pissed all over her and on her butthole! I also pissed on the floor, on the walls and the bed covers! The only place I didnt piss at was the Toilette inself! Have fun cleaning! Looking at the room...yes...some places were yellower than others! That fucktard! ... 6

beaninator77 . . 4y Cleaned a room that contained both a deck of Uno cards and a knock-off deck of Ono cards ... 12.4k

LiveLongAndPasta -4 4y In the late 90's I had a roommate who managed a hotel in Manhattan. Не came home one night and told me they found a 3 foot Nitrous tank in one of the rooms. They disposed of it personally. These days they would probably call the bomb squad. ... 234

Acceleratour 4y Had a teacher who was the manager of a Marriott in Germany for a while. She has wild stories. Once found an anaconda in the bathroom, wrapped around the shower curtain pole. Pulled naked devil worshippers out of the pool at 3 AM when the pool closed and they refused to get out. They weren't even guests. Saw the janitor with a wheelbarrow, a hose, and a shovel. Не went somewhere, went to lunch and came back. After his lunch she followed him and asked what was up, he didn't speak good german and just said Cleaning up

TheLastBridgeFire 4y I was a house keeper at a dive of a hotel in Chico, CA in the late 90's. A week or so before a local homeless woman had stuck her arm in a tiger's cage (a circus that was traveling through town) and got mauled. That weekend I was cleaning rooms and knocked on the door of a room paid for by a local charity organization. It turned out the guest was in the middle of sexy time. Quickly realizing it wasn't a good time to clean the room I said I would come back later. To my

dieceid 4y I can answer this one! Worked at a huge water park resort. I was doing a late shift at a time of year when the resort was almost empty. So, tired of knocking on all the doors, I just barged into the rooms. (To clarify, I always knocked. But I was getting tired after 20 or so rooms without a guest.) Come this room in the 4th floor. I walk in and there's an old, heavy guy feasting on a bucket of fried chicken. Lights off, in front of the TV. Не stared at me for a couple

_sissy_hankshaw_ 4y I will NEVER forget this one room I had to clean as a housekeeper...it was one of my first jobs, I was 16. We were given 30min max per room and I walked in and immediately radioed my manager letting her know I would need longer. The stench smacked me in the face immediately...B.O. and meat. The tan carpet and all of the sheets were stained with deep red bbq sauce and there were over 40 rib bones EVERYWHERE. There was a tripod left on its side in the corner of the room and handcuffs on the floor
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