19 Hilarious and Crazy On-the-Job Stories from Delivery Drivers

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19 Hilarious and Crazy On-the-Job Stories from Delivery Drivers

For better or worse, the people that delivery drivers encounter provide all sorts of memorable experiences. Though the most common archetype is someone high out of their mind with the munchies, there’s the occasional brush with celebrity or random scenario that seems pulled straight out of a made-for-TV movie as well. 

Along these lines, the delivery drivers of Reddit got together and shared some of their craziest, weirdest and funniest moments from the road. And while some of them didn’t get a tip for their services, they did at least get a funny story out of the transaction. 

SillySilhouettes . . 5y In near hurricane conditions I was delivering subs for Jimmy Johns. Took me a little longer than usual to get to a house, I am completely drenched, standing in the rain because the front door didn't have a stoop. The guy opens the door and says took you long enough grabbed his sandwich and didn't tip me. ... 3.1k

plantman01 . 5y Had a delivery for a hotel at 2am on saturday. I went to the front desk and they asked me to come to their room. I went and knocked and a middle aged bald man answered with only his head poking out, I couldnt see the rest of his body. Не opened the door and asked me to come inside and put the pizza on the table, which i did b.c i'm an idiot. When i walk inside i see another middle aged fat man sitting on the bed and the guy who opened the door closed

Skittliboo 5y I used to deliver pizza. Favorite experience: The guy opened the front door and is smoking a joint. And then...KITTENS. 4 kittens come round the corner meowing, and start trying to climb my pant legs. The guy just giggles and giggles, so I put the pizzas down and play with the kittens for a while. Не tipped me a 20! ... 7.4k

DylanBob1991 5y I pulled up to the house and there was a large German shepherd in the yard (which was fenced in) going nuts, barking and snapping at me. It takes me about 5 to 10 minutes of grappling with this dog to make it to the door, and it runs around the side of the house. So the folks open the door, pay for the food, and suddenly the dog bursts around the corner of the yard, slams past me and bolts into the house. He's sprinting in circles, freaking out and knocking stuff over including a nice looking

aboughtcusto . 5y Not me but my dad was a fedex delivery driver. One place he was knocking at the door waiting for an answer and then begins hearing heavy breathing behind him. Slowly he turnes around to see a fucking ostrich staring at him.

Chalky_Cupcake 5y I delivered a Numero Uno pizza to Ron Jeremy at a Comfort Inn on Ventura Blvd in Woodland Hills California. Не answered the door in bathrobe and behind him there was lighting set up and other people. Не walked me to his car in his robe to get his wallet which was under a case of Today Sponges. Every word true and not a single moment was awkward or weird. It was epic and i felt like i had grazed a piece of history. ... 281

hightreason 5y Delivered pizza. Clearly interrupted a couple having sex. The guy opens the door holding a towel around his waist. When he grabs the pizza, the towel slips from his other hand. As it falls off it catches and hangs from his raging boner. ... 191

mal_wash_jayne. . 5y Door being answered by a 70something chain- smoking woman in nothing but a leopard print night gown. Not the kind of pizza man porn I was looking to be a part of. ... 234

starshine913 . 5y ooh..or the delivery instructions i had once: barn lights don't work, come around back when i get to the back of (what looks like an abandoned) barn this man is in the pitch black, smoking a cigarette, in a lawn chair..... ... 339

Thelnnsanity . 5y There was a package at the door that turned out to be infant diapers. After closing the door, I heard the dad yell at the daughter Why the hell are you ordering infant diapers? Dad was NOT supposed to see that specific package. My bad. ... 24

miss_j_bean 12y Once on a delivery I arrived right when the family started singing happy birthday and the guy that let me in motioned that I should come over and sing, too. Right about the dear kid-whose-name-i-don't- know part their dog bit me. No growling or barking, it just ninja'd over, sniffed my leg and bit me. ... 17

YetiPie . 6y I was delivering a pizza and after I knocked on the door I heard a far away voice yell coming!, so I waited. After about a minute I hear the same voice a little closer yell almost there just wait!. This continues for several minutes, with the voice coming closer and closer until the person finally reaches the door and opens it. I'm expecting to see someone at eye level, however instead I'm greeted by a smiling person on the floor who had no legs and dragged themselves across the house to answer the door. I offered

duudewhaaat 6y So I delivered like five pizzas to this guy once. I had to ring the doorbell several times before he came to the door. When he got there he didn't really say anything except to come on in real quick. Now you aren't supposed to go in people's houses but I decided who cares I can defend myself. I get inside this guys huge house and its full of weird shit. There was a full suit of armor right by the door, and somewhere he had this Halloween CD playing creepy, deep voiced laughs. While he's searching for

JuiceWaaave . 6y Pulled up to this easily $1.5-2mil house. Lady opens the door and as shes signing the receipt I hear, Bethany! Willis is in the dog food again! This is deep in Louisiana, so this is all in a typical southern drawl. I look behind her and see a man chasing a full grown pot-belly pig wearing an LSU jersey away from what I assume is the dog food area. Willis returned to the area shortly after. ... 8.3k

Innalibra . 6y Strangest I had was a girl who put on her special instructions Please tell me I'm pretty. I did. She smiled, said thanks, closed the door and I never saw her again. Maybe one day I'll get lucky. ... 1.2k

Brother_Mandamus . 6y This just happened yesterday, I was having a lady sign her cc slip when a naked toddler comes running from the back yard. Okay, cool, sometimes kids get crazy, so what? Thing is, she had no idea whose kid it was. Just a random ass naked baby running through like he own the place.

Alsandr . 6y I delivered pizzas for a few years in college. One of my deliveries to a hotel had a guy answer the door in nothing but boxers and a beanie. We trade money for pizza and as I give him his change, I hear another guy yell, unseen, from behind the corner, if he's cute, let him keep the rest! The guy at the door hands me back the change and smiles. I wasn't sure how to react, so I just turned and left. ... 4.8k

beancounter2885 6y I delivered a couple pizzas to this old couple who had friends over. She invited me in to put the pizza on the table, which isn't common, but I was okay with. I go in and they make small talk. Out of the corner of my eye I notice a big purple thing sitting on the TV (back when all TVs were CRT). It was a dildo. That's when I notice they were everywhere. Counters, book shelves, the coffee table. Literally everywhere. There had to be at least a dozen or so spread around the townhouse. They were

bobbyp869 . 6y I knocked on the door and a couple voices told me to come inside. When I opened the door there were weird cameras and lights pointing at me and a man and a woman sitting on a couch across the room. They knew I was nervous and confused and they asked me to bring the pizza over to them. I walked the pizza over and the woman said you just walked through a ghost. They were fucking amateur ghost hunters looking for ghosts in a trailer. ... 766
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