30 Funny Lies People Have Told

Imagine will.i.am frolicking through Teletubbyland
30 Funny Lies People Have Told

There’s no harm in telling a white lie from time to time. If anything, when employed correctly, it’s one of the most powerful tools at your disposal. That said, there’s very much an art to it — for instance, too many details that weave an unnecessarily elaborate tale can open you up to a line of questioning that exposes you. 

Thankfully, these Redditors have harnessed the talent of lying, and added a little comedy to the mix, too. Here are some of the funniest lies they’ve told, if, you know, you need some inspiration for your next tall tale… 

RufflesAndJuan . 10y In elementary school I convinced a twelve year old boy on the bus that on his thirteenth birthday he would ceremoniously be gifted a training bra to wear, just like all other men. His birthday was in a week and he was so terrified. ... 1.6k
kapu808 • . 10y I convinced a friend that Rihanna's What's My Name? was about her struggle to care for her grandmother with Alzheimer's. This was based solely on the lyric Oh Na Na, What's My Name? Не thought Drake's contributions to the track were very odd given the new context. ... 251
13Coastal31 5y In highschool my Chem2 teacher wanted my class to spread a lie about him. Sooo I came up with that he killed a giraffe with his bare hands while he lived in Africa. It slowly morphed into he killed a giraffe woth his bare hands and had an exotic zoo in his basement in which he was part of a exotic trading ring. It still cycles around the school...i havent been there in 3 years. ... 1
 5y ... Convinced my sister that Will.I.AM started his career as a tellie tubbie 3 Reply
wheresmylobster. 10y I once convinced a friend that he had to eat the paper fortune inside of a fortune cookie for it to come true. Не ate his fortunes for an entire year. ... 1.7k
timmermania 10y My first year of college I lived in the dorms. I would usually shave at night so I could just roll out of bed and go to class in the morning. One night I was shaving and this douchebag from our floor rolls into the bathroom and starts braying laughter, asking me why in the world I'm shaving at night. For some reason I began this intricate story on the spot, about how if you shave at night you get a closer shave because the moon pulls your whiskers out further, similar to how the moon affects the
Dub626 . 1 10y Living in a rather uneventful part of the deep south, I like to convince my friends that Civil War battles were fought on random plots of land in the area. Almost always works. ... 1.7k
pasalaska . 10y I'm an Australian living in Canada on a work visa, and on a quiet day at work my (Canadian) co-worker and I managed to convince my boss that Australians all bring didgeridoos to major sporting events, much like the vuvuzelas at the South African FIFA World Cup. We then went on to explain that each family in Australia has a chosen, and somewhat revered didge player who attends the nation-wide didge contest, where didge battles are held, with the contestants competing to uphold the family's pride and honour. ... 606
CANOODLING_SOCIOPATH . 10y I had a speech impediment when I was younger, and when I moved away from Connecticut I convinced everyone that pronouncing R's as W's was a connecticut accent. No one had been to CT so no one could tell me I was wrong. Instead of being the weird kid I was the exotic one with the sexy accent. But this was 7th grade and kids are dumb. ... 2.5k
timetravelinmarauder 10y This wasn't me, but at my university we have an Irish Language class and a professor comes over from Ireland to teach it every year. The guy this year was pretty young, mid to late 20s. Anyway, he convinced someone in my class (university level, might I remind you) that Tuesday's don't exist in Ireland. Told her there were six days in a week, no such thing as Tuesday's. One day he let it slip that he was flying back home on a Tuesday. This girl picks up on it and mentions the whole, no Tuesday in Ireland
madblackspy 10y My brother and I once convinced our significant others over dinner that my grandma had received financial settlement as a result of the Titanic sinking. Before writing her will, she held a seven-stage competition amongst her five grandchildren to determine who would inherit her Titanic money when she dies. Among the competitions we said she held for us was a Titanic-themed spelling bee and a swimming competition in which she outfitted each of us with cardboard Titanic costumes and had us swim out to a fake iceberg. Both of our significant others ate up the lie. Neither of
karatemike . . 10y That fellatio was a type of pasta. She wasn't very smart. ... 968
griffinds . 1 10y My brother and I convinced my little sister she was a robot when she was about 4. When my parents didn't refute us, she concluded we had to be right. ... 82
geoff_not_jeff . 1 10y Convinced my friend that I could freeze spit in my mouth into ice, he didnt believe me at first so i spit out the ice cube that i had already had in my mouth and he fell for it hook line and sinker. He's 20 years old (business school student, not good at science) ... 955
BadWolfEnitity 10y I'm slowly trying to convince my friend that the oil we need to make gasoline is the fossilized remains of dead people. I've been trying to do it subtly for 2 1/2 years now. Several of my other friends are in on it at this point. I've gone to the point were I've stage conversation that casually bring it up like it was some other world issue. The best part about it is seeing him nod his head in agreement whenever it's brought up. ... 524
Cockalorum 10y SPAM was invented in WWII to try to pay off the cannibal tribes in New Guinea during the Pacific Campaign. Thats where the name comes from - Spiced Pork Approximating Man. ... 187
benignlurker . 1 10y That you can't use the toilet during a thunder storm or you will get electrocuted.
1sef_2sef . 1 10y Oh this is good, i convinced a girl i had met (girlfriend and now ex) that i was irish. I look arab and am in fact, arablegyptian/lebanese). I told her i was irish and at the time i was fasting for ramadan. I got my friend in on it and we convinced her that i was practicing ramadan out of respect of my irish ancestors and their struggles during the irish potato famine. This went on for a solid week.
MrStooper . 10y I have a very gullible friend who will believe just about anything someone tells her, here are my few favorites I have told her: -Marshmellows come from plants, and have to be picked. It looks similar to a cotton plant.
vitruvien . 10y When I was in High School, I convinced 2 freshman that Che Guevara was the founder of Hot Topic, and that's why his face was plastered on everything they sold. ... 28
solid_russ 5y I used to play something I like to call 'the Belgian game'. If you are in company with someone you think is gullible, subtly bring up some stupid lies about Belgium, and have your accomplices just go with it. If they believe you, keep escalating until the victim actually calls you on your bullshit. If one guy says some nonsense then you tend to say something. If three or four people agree then you tend to keep quiet. Best Belgian facts that people actually fell for: Belgium invented cheese Belgium owns the mining rights to the moon Belgium
newphonehughdis 5y Whilst I was in high school there was a girl that was really book smart but pretty much an idiot apart from that. Convinced her that if you want to fly to the southern hemisphere you have to get a helium injection into your blood so you don't fall off the bottom of the earth. If you didn't get the injection you would fall off the earth and land on the ozone layer, a plane would then have to collect you from the bottom of the 'bubble like' layer of the atmosphere. Only reason she realised I was
quodpossumus 5y Less people and more one not too bright person, but still kinda funny. I had a bob cut when I was sixteen, short for a girl, came to just under my chin. I had just transferred to a new high school and was in the restroom when a girl I didn't know asks, so is your hair naturally short? Without thinking, I nodded and said, yeah, it stops growing around this length. She looked so fascinated. Oh my god, wow. Do you know why? I shook my head and said it was probably some weird genetic fluke. Finished
Ziprocamas 5y Freshman fall in the dining hall I sat down at a table where I didn't know anyone and starting chatting with this dude. Girl sitting across the table asked if we knew each other, and I jokingly said oh yea we go way back. Other dude ran with the joke and we ended up weaving this impromptu tale about how I saved him from a tiger attack in South America and that's how we met. The girl (and everyone else at the table too) actually believed us. We ended up dating for a bit and I honestly don't
ThunderAnt. 5y I didn't talk for the while first year of middle school so everyone thought I was mute. Then, on the last day of school I walked up in front of the entire stage and told them how to properly pronounce my name. ... 6
SarcasticPsychoGamer . . 5y I have scoliosis and wear a back brace, some dude made fun of me for being flat chested and I told him it's because I wear armor. I knocked on my back brace and he was petrified. Не thought I was so badass and when his friend asked why I wore it | said it was because I almost got kidnapped as a kid and my parents wanted to protect me (btw I actually was almost kidnapped as a kid) Also the friend was a nice guy. None of them know the truth. ... 8
jormono . 5y In college I was an RA, had a not particularly bright girl walk into the RA office while I was working in there, she walks in and says something to the effect of this is a really nice little office!, I responded with Thanks, I made it myself. She believed me for longer than you want to know. ... 5
ThkGod4PunkRock. 5y I told a guy that the flux capacitor in his car wasnt working when he asked me to look at it. Said it was no big deal, but be sure to bring it up with the mechanic the next time the tires get rotated. After his oil change and rotation he told me about his interaction with a confused mechanic ... 4
Halfscan . 5y At work, we have huge plastic jugs of honey. I told the servers that the jugs contain a bee, just like how tequila bottles have the worm. Countless servers have spent minutes looking for the bee. Holding it up to the light, turning the jug over or sideways, etc... ... 5
BaltazaurasV 5y So I was about 10 years old and was invited to my cousin's 6th birthday party. It was kinda lame because everyone was younger than me and I got bored. So I see a candle and decide to make fun of my cousin's friend (he is about 6 too). I tell him that ice cream and candles are made from the same material, I get carried away and even go as far as to make the arguments: notice how both candles and ice cream come in many colors but the most common is white, how both melt under
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