13 of the Doofiest, Simpiest Villain Sidekicks of All-Time

A dash of absurdity in the world of villainy. For the kids.
13 of the Doofiest, Simpiest Villain Sidekicks of All-Time

Behind every great villain, there’s a loyal sidekick who, for some reason, supports every one of their dastardly plans. They themselves don’t seem like the worst people/animals/people-animal hybrids on the planet, but they might be the most easily influenced “followers” ever. If they happened to meet a hero before a villain, would they be great heroic sidekicks? Probably. But since a villain got there first, they’ll add a touch of zaniness to their schemes, and usually chime in with a classic, “Yeah, you tell ’em, boss!” 

That’s what a good villain wants, right? We can’t think of a time where a villain looked to their sidekicks for advice. It’s never, “What do you guys think?” It’s always, “Shut up and get it done!” These dimwitted sidekicks do bring a unique flavor to the world of supervillainy, and provide comic relief to those darker narratives. For the kids, ya know? While some villains luck out with cunning, resourceful, and charismatic sidekicks, these ones got the short end of the stick with the 13 doofiest, simpiest sidekicks of all time.

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You win again, Megatron.

Doofy henchmen Transformers STARSCREAM Starscream repeatedly attempts to overthrow Megatron, but turns into a sniveling coward when those schemes blow up in his face. His clearly unattainable goals were played up as comedic relief as the series went on. CRACKED

IDW Publishing


Smee gets as many licks on Hook as Peter Pan.

Doofy henchmen Peter Pan smee Smee is the O.G. (and English) Lefou who ends up hurting Captain Hook more than he helps. In the 1953 Disney movie, he hits Hook with a hammer, and scalds his feet with boiling water, but he is loyal to the bitter end. CRACKED



Disney loved those distinct comedian voices.

Doofy henchmen PAIN AND PANIC Bobcat Goldthwait provided his insane voice for Pain, and Matt Frewer joined him as Panic. They fail to kill Hercules and leave him with his godly powers, then wearing his merch is the cherry on top to really piss Hades off. Hercules CRACKED


Disney Wiki

Honestly, who throws a shoe?

Doofy henchmen Goldfinger ODDJOB Goldfinger's driver/bodyguard was played by Japanese-American actor Harold Sakata in the 1964 film. Sakata was an Olympic weightlifter, but his character Oddjob is best known for throwing a hat. Cool, bro. CRACKED

Eon Productions


Gotta round out that toy line somehow.

Doofy henchmen Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles вевор AND ROCKSTEADY They didn't appear in the original comics, but were created by Peter Laird as more characters for the cartoon's toy line. At the time, they weren't given much personality or backstory, just Shredder's henchmen for the Turtles to beat, every single time. CRACKED

Fred Wolf Films

Screen Rant

Be honest, you can hear his voice as you read this.

Doofy henchmen Aladdin IAGO Voiced by Gilbert Gottfried, lago is a squawking soundboard for Jafar, and it's Gottfried at his Gottfriediest. Не is named after lago in Shakespeare's Othello (although that lago was the main villain). CRACKED


Aladdin Wiki

You gotta be pretty dumb if these morons can getcha.

Doofy henchmen Dumb and Dumber Dante's INFERN MenTAL By killing Harry and Lloyd's parakeet Petey, the film plays him up like a truly scary henchman, but he's quickly proven to be a dumbass by thinking the gasman is referencing him. Не thinks Harry and Lloyd are pros, then dies by their dumb hands. CRACKED

New Line Cinema


No one fails like Gaston.

Doofy henchmen Beauty and the Beast LEFOU Gaston's bumbly egg of a sidekick annoyingly fanboys over Gaston in every scene. Не was voiced by Jesse Corti, who played Marius' sidekick Courfeyrac in the original Broadway production of Les Misérables. Want a French sidekick? He's your man. CRACKED



Shooter does not wanna be friends with this guy.

Doofy henchmen Happy Gilmore SHOOTER MCGAVIN'S CRONY, DonALD Joe Flaherty portrays Shooter's fanboy, Donald, who causes Happy to fight Bob Barker. Не desperately wants to be friends with Shooter, offers to treat him to Red Lobster, then goes way overboard when one of his heckles is just hitting Happy with a Volkswagen. CRACKED

Universal Pictures


That “Just The Two Of Us” cover was pretty sweet, though.

Doofy henchmen The Spy Who Shagged Me MINI-ME He's fiercely loyal and wants to kill Scott right away, but his very existence as Dr. Evil's mini clone is for comedic relief. Dr. Evil asks to put a bell on him (like a dog) and says if he died, he'd be a wreck for ten minutes, then move on with another replica. CRACKED

New Line Cinema


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