Cracked Columnists

Why 2013 Was the Year of the Crapocalypse
My name is Robert Brockway, and I have a problem: I'm addicted to the apocalypse.
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- By Robert Brockway
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Time to Buy the Shirts You Really Wanted
It's too late for this Christmas, but you could finally fulfill your yearly vow to get your Christmas shopping done early and buy now for 2014.
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- By CRACKED Staff
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4 Reasons 'Viral' Content Stopped Mattering in 2013
Everyone tried so hard to go 'viral' that the word barely has any meaning anymore.
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- By Cody Johnston
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The 5 People You Become After a Night of Drinking
You can only learn the most about people when you are totally hammered.
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- By Gladstone
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The 6 Most Overrated Media Outrages of 2013
In 2013, these six stories quenched the general public's insatiable thirst for misplaced outrage more than any others.
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- By Adam Tod Brown
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Why 2013 Gave Us Reason to Care About Space Again
I firmly believe that a decade from now we will all look back on this year as one of the most important years of space travel in human history.
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- By Soren Bowie
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5 Reasons Christmas Is the Most Dangerous Time of the Year
Every single part of the holiday season seems to come together in an attempt to mess with your physical and mental well-being.
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- By Kathy Benjamin
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The 6 Craziest Pieces of Christmas Fan Fiction
Don't ruin your holidays with the following stories, which are so bizarre, they're almost impossible to masturbate to.
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- By Mark Hill
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6 Reasons 2013 Was the Year 'Revolution' Lost All Meaning
'Revolution' used to be a word with meaning. Now, any hack British comedian can use it to their desire.
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- By Robert Evans
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5 Old News Stories the Media Pretended Were New This Year
If we'd just taken a few minutes to learn some history, none of these stories would have shocked us.
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- By Kristi Harrison
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6 Badass Old-Timey Christmas Mascots (We Need to Bring Back)
Why must it always be boring old Santa? There are so many badass Christmas characters out there, just waiting for their time in the limelight.
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- By Pauli Poisuo
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5 Reasons 2013 Was Actually 1996 All Over Again
This year was not the year you thought it was. So if you wrongly believe what year it currently is, this will be the most important thing you will read all year. Year year year.
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- By Cyriaque Lamar
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28 Items from the Worst Gift Catalog Possible
Gather ye round the fire for another yuletide reading of the Pumblechook & Figg holiday gift catalog!
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- By Brendan McGinley
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Undeniable Proof That European Christmas Is Terrifying
There's a subgenre of a subgenre of fiction devoted entirely to Christmas. And it's mostly about ladies who want rough sex from the Krampus.
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- By Chris Sims
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7 Reasons the TSA Sucks (A Security Expert's Perspective)
My name is Rafi Sela, and I was the head of security for the world's safest airport. Here's what your country does wrong.
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- By Robert Evans, Rafi Sela
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