Trampolines, Guitar Solos and The Crappiest Jack-O'-Lanterns of All Time: The Daily Nooner!

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Awesome Video Of The Day Wacky Trampoline Jumpin' Guitar Playin' Douchebag You and I both know that the internet is basically one long, drawn-out segment of Stupid Human Tricks, but here's the thing that blows my mind about videos like this: They had to have actually occurred in real life at some point. And for that to have happened, some dude had to spend untold hours practicing jumping on a trampoline while playing guitar solos*. Then he had to take it to the band and tell them what he wanted to do, and then the band had to be like, "Yeah, dude! That's a GREAT idea!" That's unlikely enough as it is, but here's the clincher: For this video to exist on YouTube, somebody OTHER THAN THE BAND had to show up at the concert to record it! I'm willing to suspend my disbelief for all kinds of stupid crap on the internet (I've been ripped off by three completely different Nigerian email scams in the last year alone), but I have to draw the line somewhere. This video has to be a hoax. Oh, wait... the band is from French Canada and they're called
OMEGADOM. I take it all back - this is definitely real. If they'd just named the video "How To Get Laid In Montreal" I never would have questioned it in the first place. *Oddly enough, there are over 100 videos on YouTube of people playing guitars on trampolines. Is this the next big trend, and if so, does this post make me a "tastemaker"?
This week on the Cracked Blog, we're looking at Halloween alternatives from around the world. If you tuned in yesterday, you know that the Chinese Hungry Ghost Festival was a total letdown. Today we move on to next contender. How will they stack up? Read on to find out.
Global Holiday Smackdown: HALLOWEEN Global Contender #4: The Isle Of Man's Hop-Tu-Naa On the Isle of Man, folks celebrate a traditional Celtic holiday called Hop-Tu-Naa on the same day as Halloween. Children go trick-or-treating just like we do in America (although they call it "guising" in the UK), but there are a few notable differences. First of all, the festivities revolve around a song called "Jinnie The Witch," a weird folk song about seeing a "witch" cat that "smiles" at you. In the song, you get scared and run away to Scotland, where everyone is "baking bannocks and roasting collops." I don't know what that means, but it sounds like it sucks. Oh - and as if it wasn't bad enough to have to sing that stupid song, all the kids carve their jack-o'-lanterns out of TURNIPS. Is there some sort of UK Pumpkin Embargo that I don't know about, or are they just torturing these poor kids for no good reason?
Cool Factor (out of 10): 3 You might get to trick-or-treat, but at what price?!

Halloween

Hop-Tu-Naa

Pros

  • Sweet costumes

  • Free candy

  • Awesome parties with tons of booze

  • Egging, TPing, et al.

  • Jack-o'-lanterns, bats, evil stuff
    		•

  • Free candy
    		•

    Cons

  • Children ring your doorbell all night
    		•
  • You have to sing a stupid song about smiling cats
  • You have to carve your jack-o'-lantern out of a fucking TURNIP
    • Winner: Halloween You know how they could improve Hop-Tu-Naa? Drop the stupid smiling cat song, switch from turnips to pumpkins and make it EXACTLY LIKE HALLOWEEN.

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