These Mini Crossbows Show Zombies (And Interns) Who's Boss

This piece was written by the people who run the Cracked Store to tell you about products that are being sold there.

From Chewbacca to Daryl Dixon to Tyrion Lannister, the crossbow has been an iconic weapon in pop culture history. And just as these implements of carnage were highly effective on medieval battlefields and the beaches of Kashyyyk, Uncommon Carry Bows are perfect for the modern office prank war. Now you can stage a Q-Tip ambush with handheld crossbows and finally get back at those jerks from Sales for always stealing your lunch from the break room.

The Ace Sniper

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This minimalist bow is designed for one thing only: packing as many toothpicks as possible into the top compartment so that you're never caught reloading. Just grab a handful of tiny stakes, load up, and turn your foes into kebabs. The Ace Sniper comes in either black or silver, for $39.99. Take an extra 15 percent off with the coupon code SAVE15.

Ambush Sniper

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Perfect for catching the interns off-guard when they're going to the bathroom, the Ambush Sniper can launch everything from matches to Q-Tips (already-used is optional) up to 15 feet. Remember to stay out of your enemy's line of sight -- and even more importantly, HR's. Grab the Ambush Sniper here for 55 percent off, just $39.99. Take an extra 15 percent off with the coupon code SAVE15.

BB Sniper

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When the stakes get high and your office prank war goes offsite, don't be the fool who brought matchsticks to a BB fight. The BB Sniper works simply enough: Just drop a BB in the slot, and the Sniper's uniquely grooved barrel holds it securely until it's time to strike. It can also fire more conventional projectiles, but lets get real, when you have a BB-firing crossbow, you're gonna fire off some BBs. The BB Sniper is $39.99 and comes in both silver and black versions. Take an extra 15 percent off with the coupon code SAVE15.

Silent Sweeper

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Tom Clancy never wrote a novel about office prank wars, but if he had, then this pocket-sized crossbow would most definitely be on the cover, along with a title like Marketing Department: Code MELTDOWN. A truly versatile agent of bombardment, The Silent Sweeper accepts any type of office ammo and won't make a peep as you get yourself to and from the extraction poin t... er ... parking lot. Get it here for $47.99. Take an extra 15 percent off with the coupon code SAVE15.


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If Van Helsing hunted miniature vampires with toothpicks, this would be his weapon of choice. Sophisticated, finely contoured, and shiny, the Bowman is everything you want when the children of the night are bite-sized. This splinter-slinging beauty costs just $27.99 and is available in an understated black, a utilitarian silver, and an extravagant gold. Take an extra 15 percent off with the coupon code SAVE15.

Ghost Hunter One And Two

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This frightful toothpick-firing duo is nothing to pick your teeth at. Equipped with an onboard laser sight, the Ghost Hunters are especially well-suited for precision strikes, nighttime reconnaissance, and looking like a straight up G. Number one is black with gold, number two is gold with black. Both come in at $47.99. Take an extra 15 percent off with the coupon code SAVE15.

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