This piece was written by the Cracked Store to tell you about products that are being sold there.
There's a slew of doorbuster sales going on in the Cracked Store right now for Black Friday, and we've highlighted the best ones on apps and software. But, and say it with us now, "That's not all!" Type in the code BFSAVE40 at checkout for an additional 40 percent off every single item below. Don't say we never did anything nice for you.
Trainz: A New Era is the latest installment in the top-selling train simulator series, letting you ride the rails of historic and modern routes without having to live the cartoon hobo lifestyle. If you've ever yearned to be a railroad baron, crisscrossing the Earth with the parallel rails of progress while crushing union leaders under your wingtips, Trainz: A New Era is the experience you've been searching for. This bundle includes all DLC, plus the Deluxe and Platinum edition routes and assets. Click the link to get Trainz: A New Era Platinum Edition Bundle for $19.99, 93 percent off the regular price of $327. And don't forget to type in BFSAVE40 at checkout!
If you're tired of dying over and over again to the same cheap boss or poorly designed platforming puzzle and know you could design a better game in your sleep, then look no further than the School of Game Design. You'll get access to over 120 hours of video training and instruction that will teach you everything from the basics of programming to advanced modeling and animation techniques. Then you'll be able to go out and actually bring an original idea to gaming for once. Normally lifetime access to the School of Game Design costs $5,990, but you can get it at 99 percent off for just $59 today.
If your skills at managing your money could charitably be described as "bad" or "nonexistent" or "Better buy three copies of Kangaroo Jack on 4K," then get a hold of Kualto Money Management. Kualto helps you create a budget for all of your expenses, so you're never short on funds when you need them. It even creates forecast budgets, so you can anticipate what you'll earn and what you'll need to spend for up to three years in the future. It's like a little robot friend helping you keep track of your personal economy. Normally Kualto Money Management costs $239.40, but right now you can get lifetime access at 83 percent off for just $39.99.
If you're trying to find investors for your small business idea, whether it be an Amazon-style app that specializes in candy design (you can take that one) or a ride-sharing app for horse-drawn carriages (but this one's ours!), you need Bizplan Premium. Bizplan helps you put together a business plan step by step, using easy drag-and-drop templates and integration with Xero and QuickBooks, so you can produce a professional-looking proposal to attract investors or make your Shark Tank pitch. Normally, a lifetime subscription to BizPlan Premium costs $2,940, but right now you can knock 98 percent off that price, PLUS take advantage of an additional price drop, and get it for just $49.
Being a gamer costs money, particularly if you want to stay current with all the new consoles and rigs and Red Dead Redemptions. But before you join a team of fancily suited bank robbers just to afford it, hear us out. Vortex Cloud Gaming lets you stream more than 100 hit games, like Fortnite and League Of Legends, to virtually any internet-connected device, including your laptop or smartphone. Right now you can get a three-month subscription to Vortex Cloud Gaming at 33 percent off the regular price of $29.99 for just $19.99.
If you're looking to set up your own website, but your coding experience peaked with hitting the "Publish" button on Blogspot, then have a gander at Obior Unlimited Website Building And Hosting. Obior takes all the complicated aspects of building a website, like domain names, hosting, design, and social media integration, and throws it all into one place, allowing you to easily create the website of your dreams. You can update your site easily on the fly, or have Obior automatically update it throughout the day with posts from your social media accounts. Normally a lifetime subscription to Obior Unlimited Website Building and Hosting sells for $899, but right now you can get it at 96 percent off, plus an additional price drop, for just $29.99.
If you're finding that your go-to password choices, like "davidcopperfieldsucks" or "spidermansbestfriend," are feeling too obvious, and you can't keep track of complicated auto-generated passwords, then you need Sticky Password Premium. Sticky Password Premium creates unbreakable passwords for all of your accounts and locks them up under one master password, meaning you'll only have a single password to keep track of until the end of days. Normally a lifetime subscription to Sticky Password Premium sells for $149.99, but you can knock 73% off and get it for $39.99.
Mondly can teach you the languages you need to know directly from your smartphone, which will come in handy if you're planning on vacationing out of country or becoming an international super spy. Choose five out of 33 available languages and learn them via conversational instruction from native-speaking voice actors, with speech-recognition software that will grade you on your clarity and pronunciation. Normally a lifetime subscription to Mondly costs $1,199.75, but you can take advantage of a 95 percent discount and an additional price drop to get lifetime access for just $49.99.
If you're burned out trying to register an awesome domain name only to discover that "giraffebackflips.com" is already taken, then take a look at Radix ".tech" Domain Subscriptions. Radix will allow you to register your own tech domain for a full ten years, which is the type of business move that giants like the Consumer Electronics Show and Viacom have already taken. Normally it costs $500 to register a Radix .tech domain for that length of time, but right now you can get one at 90 percent off for just $49.99.
If you're tired of having to delete old John Mayer songs to make room for the new iOS update, then you need Zoolz Cloud Storage. Zoolz Cloud Storage offers lifetime access to store up to 2 TB of data that you can access any time you want, from any device. Normally this service costs $3,600 (wowza!), but right now you can grab it for $44.95 at a mind-blowing 98 percent discount.
Animatron Studio is a program that allows anyone, even those of us with absolutely zero experience or talent, to create detailed, engaging animation right in a web browser. You can use thousands of pre-animated characters, backgrounds, and props to make any kind of animation you want, from HTML banners to short videos and presentations. You can even import your own graphics, allowing you to make that stunning animated video of you winning the surfing contest like you've always wanted. Simply click this link to get Animatron Studio Pro at a 95 percent markdown on top of an additional price drop for just $49.99.
If you want to work out with the help of a personal trainer but hate talking to other human beings, drag your skinny heiny over to the Fitterclub Personal Training app. Fitterclub is an app you can use to tailor a nutrition and exercise plan to your specific needs, allowing you to achieve your fitness goals in 30-minute training sessions, five days a week. Normally a one-year subscription to Fitterclub costs $690, but you can get one at 97 percent off for only $19.
Call Of Duty 4 is the game that launched the modern military shooter, and fans of its intense dramatic storyline and the fine art of dumpstering plebs still consider it one of the best games ever made. If you've somehow never played COD4 before, or are keen to revisit an awesome classic, treat yourself and click the button below to get a copy for just $9.99, 50 percent off the normal price of $19.99.
You'll have gift-giving in the bag when you Get An Early Start On Holiday Shopping With These 5 Drones.
No, YOU'RE crying.