The Only Thing I Ever Took 10 Years to Make was my Son Cody, and he was Equally Disappointing
3D Realms has released a new trailer for Duke Nukem Forever, apparently in a last-ditch effort to avoid losing their status as most ridiculous gaming monstrosity. For anyone who hasn't followed this story heatedly from its outset (I've had men on it from day one…that's what she said), Duke Nukem Forever is the proposed sequel to a fairly decent FPS that sounded as if it would have been staggeringly, mind-blowingly decent if it were released in 1997 when it was meant to be. Then, for reasons even my own strapping team of investigative web-journalists have failed to uncover (one guy thought it was because of the Jews, but he's been fired), the game was delayed. And delayed again. FOR TEN YEARS. The news here isn't so much that the game got delayed into oblivion—a lot of games die that way—but rather that 3D Realms will occasionally trot out some video footage of the corpse to try and keep the thing alive, like a digital Weekend at Bernie’s. Here’s the teaser in question, which features some quick cuts of derivative-looking aliens, a homoerotic wraparound of the Duke flexing his guns, and some metal thrash guitar circa 1994.
Frankly, the teaser they released in 2001 (here lovingly recut by an adoring fan) had a lot more going for it.