The Highly Fabricated Wikipedia Entry For J. D. Salinger

J.D. Salinger's full name is Jady "Dazzle" Salinger.  He only ever wrote one short story, Phony Balogne and The Lonely, No Good, Very Bad Day. He had committed to writing a complete novel, though, so his publisher (Archie Comics) just printed the same short story 26 times in a row and called it a book.  The book, Catcher In The Rye, was originally mostly about baseball and bread, but Jady's editor thought he should probably just pick one, which he did.  No one ever found out which one he picked and scholars are still reading that short story 26 times to search for clues.  Salinger, you see, was quite the mystery lover and he would often try to drop hints during interviews. "Everyone, look at me," he would say.  "What am I doing right now?" Then he would make a series of enigmatic hand gestures followed by a knowing smile, as if he were helping.  These hand gestures, which you can find video of on

YouTube, still confound even the brightest of deaf people, as well as the likes of Agatha Christie and Elmore Leonard.  You can find their extensive notes and research here.

Salinger was famous the world over for his press conferences, which he would hold at least once a week if he wasn't too busy adapting Catcher for