Law was the guy who broke up late night barfights on Joe base and responded to domestic violence calls. If you had a friend who knew how to play with Law, then you had a friend whose dad was in the military and whose mom walked into doors a lot.
Dial Tone was the Communications officer, which means that sweet robot backpack he came with - the one you always stuck on other figures and pretended was a jetpack -- was actually supposed to be a radio. Dial Tone was Tripwire all over again: Yes, it's a job that needs doing on the real battlefield, but when you've taken enough liberties with the premise of modern warfare that you have an entire Ninja unit, you can probably just glaze over the day to day duties of the CB Radio operator.
"Come in? Come in? I'm not receiving you...BECAUSE YOU'RE DEAD!"
Just look at him: He looks like he's sorry that he's wasting your time. The only thing Dial Tone did well was keep Shipwreck company, judging by his stylin' little moustache, and the fact that he appeared in such episodes as (these are all real): Glamour Girls, Joes' Night Out, Let's Play Soldier, My Brother's Keeper, Iceberg Goes South, and Into Your Tent...
Please note that the suggestive ellipsis, the one that practically reeks of lube and secrets, is part of the actual episode title.
Mainframe was G.I. Joe's computer specialist. Some Joes piloted the Hawkopters, some Joes fired the Ice Laser Cannons, some Joes were counter-Samurai experts, and some Joes were just fluent in Python and C++. Hey, even Snake Eyes gets a driver conflict now and again, and that, baby, is
time to shine. He came equipped with a computer.
No, that was literally all.
And he appeared in such episodes as, surprise, "Computer Complications."
"We're gonna Power Cycle those bastards!"
His battle cry was "did you try unplugging it, waiting a minute, and then plugging it back in?" and he's most notable for being the only G.I. Joe who deemed it necessary to wear a helmet for IT support.
You can buy Robert's book, Everything is Going to Kill Everybody: The Terrifyingly Real Ways the World Wants You Dead, or follow him on Twitter and Facebook or you can go right ahead and pick first. Yeah? You pick Hawk? Awesome. I pick Optimus Fucking Prime. That's right: I brought an Autobot to a Joe fight. That's how I roll, bitches.