This piece was written by the people who run the Cracked Store to tell you about products that are being sold there.
You're a sophisticated human with incredible taste in art and memes -- someone the people of the world look to when they need inspiration, or just a good grilled cheese sandwich recipe. So isn't it time for one of your stature to be able to listen to music at the sound quality it deserves? That's why you need to check out these awesome Bluetooth speakers. Not only will you be able to enjoy your tunes in style, but you can also bring your friends along without needing to worry about pesky things like "wires" or "public nuisance laws."
The Soundfreaq Double Spot Bluetooth Wireless Speaker syncs with any Bluetooth-compatible device, pumping out funky grooves and thoughtful podcasts with crystal-clear quality. Plus, the speaker houses a USB charging port, so you can keep your devices juiced up without leaving your musical bubble. This bad boy normally goes for $149, but if you click here right now, you can knock 46 percent off that price and get one for just $79.99.
Unless you're a ravishing playboy two weeks into a steamy new relationship, showering can be a lonely and boring affair. That's why you need the Bluetooth Shower Speaker. This water-resistant speaker attaches right to the shower wall and connects with any Bluetooth device, so you can listen to your music as you scrub. It even supports hands-free calling, in case your paramour is gone for the weekend and you can't stand a moment apart. Normally this speaker sells for $49.99, but right now you can chop 80 percent off that price and get one for just $9.99.
If you're looking for a lightweight, slim, and trim solution to your portable audio needs, look no further than the DASH A. This ultra-thin, high-quality soundbar connects with any Bluetooth-capable device to thrum out ten hours of bodacious sound per charge. It's so tiny that you can even keep it in your purse as a body pillow for your mini-poodle. It normally sells for $199, but today you can get one at 69 percent off for just $59.99.
If you do a lot of traveling, then check out the Bluepot Bluetooth Speaker and Power Bank pronto. The Bluepot acts as a portable speaker and charger, capable of fully zapping up your iPhone five times and playing 150 hours of music before it needs to recharge. And unless your next flight is to the moon, that's more than enough time to get you where you need to go. Normally the Bluepot will run you $80, but today you can get one for $46.99, a 41 percent discount.
There's always major cred to be had when your speaker looks as good as it sounds, and that is where The Cube comes in. This sleek, shiny, futuristic audio box will blast out your tunes in style, with the added bonus of making you look like the DJ at a Borg wedding. Normally The Cube sells for $49.99, but today you can get one at 56 percent off for just $21.99.
If you want to be able to enjoy your music anywhere, whether you're on top of a snowy mountain, in the middle of the ocean, or in the bathroom of your RV, then you need to check out the G-DROP. This nigh-invulnerable speaker grants you six hours of high-quality sound per charge, so you can bring the jams with you all the way to Atlantis. Normally the G-DROP sells for $50, but today you can knock 30 percent off that price and pick one up for just $35.
Looking for more ways to drown out the chaos that is 2018? Here's some Headphones For The Post-Election Apocalypse.
Most rich kids just want to be pop stars.
How did these hyper-specific tropes spread so quickly?
The Hollywood rumor mill has been playing games with celebrity deaths for at least a century.
It's easy to work the system and win these awards even if you don't deserve them.