This piece was written by the Cracked Store to tell you about products that are being sold there.
Call us crazy, but we think this "computer" thing is catching on. Why, in just a few short years, every job from the nimble chimney sweep to the dexterous daguerreotypist will be using computers to ease their daily labors. Once that happens, you'll need the know-how to survive this zip-zappin' future. And these educational materials are surely going to come in handy.
The future isn't in hard labor, but in knowledge, data, intelligence, and wisdom. With Excel, you can gain key data manipulation skills that can be used in a range of careers, from operations to data science to finance and investing. That way you boss around the robots, and not the other way around.
Right now, you can talk to your Amazon Echo, Apple Siri, or Google Who-Knows-What at the touch of a button. But in the future, you'll be able to talk to ALL of your robots -- your coffee machine, your TV, your microwave, even your parents. But first you'll need to be the change you wish to see in the world and get a job in machine learning.
The Complete Machine Learning Bundle contains nine different courses and 341 lessons about Google DialogFlow, Amazon Lex, Scikit-Learn, and PsyToch. This is $891 worth of classes that are available in the Cracked Store for just $35.
As computers get more important, cyber security gets more important at a commensurate rate. What's "commensurate" mean? It's the kind of word that computers use, and it's exactly why these robo-dorks need your protection.
There are five courses and 139 lessons in the CompTIA Certification Prep Bundle, and the $1,359.95 worth of classes are available in the Cracked Store for just $59.
Make all of the #brand jokes you like, but nowadays, cultivating a social media presence -- be it for yourself or your business -- is everything. Nobodies become somebodies. Somebodies become big somebodies. And you become employed because you learned how to effectively manage a social media account.
You have to put your best foot forward when it comes to the internet, and here's your first tip: Online, your best foot ... isn't a foot. It's a user interface, or "UX/UI." And web jobs are all about that foot ... um, user interface.
The $1,592 worth of classes in The Ultimate UX/UI Designer Bundle are available in the Cracked Store for just $29.
Forget about moving pictures; these pictures are technologically advanced enough to be completely still. Whaaaat? Yeah, it's true. And you can learn how to make 'em pretty by clicking on the link below.
There's no reason to go to a fancy gaming school to become a game designer. The only things you need to make killer games are passion and this bundle. (Also maybe a computer if you don't have one.)
All in all, there's $2,152 worth of classes available in the 2019 Game Dev And Design Mega Master Bundle, but you can get them for just $39 in the Cracked Store.
Once you've mastered all the other skills in this list, you'll be promoted to manager and have to manage everyone doing your old job. The corporate world is insane, but take this class, and you'll be a regular Jack Donaghy in no time.
These classes are the Mr. Miyagi to your Daniel-san, gently guiding you through simple exercises until you're able to land a perfectly executed crane kick to the face. You'll get C++ for beginners, Full Stack web development, C# 7, and more. Nine courses, 619 lessons, and $1,370.95 worth of information available in the Complete Learn to Code Master Bundle, which is in the Cracked Store for just $29.
Hackers are everywhere, waiting to strike. And you know what they say: The only way to stop a bad guy with a computer is with a good guy with a computer. Today, that good guy is you.
The ten courses, 1,236 lessons, and $4,883 worth of hacking information in the 2019 Ethical Hacker Master Class are available in the Cracked Store for just $39.
Things could always be much, much worse.
The cops will come swooping in the seconds the credits roll.
You've probably never heard of it.