Put Cage in a Cage, and This Week in Hating Hannah Montana
This Week in Hating Hannah Montana Apparently, there was some huge toy festival or something the other day wherein the toys for the next toy season (?) were revealed and, as if we needed another sign of the apocalypse, there were Hannah Montana cut outs and posters everywhere. Evidently, that bitch who plays Hannah Montana, (the Disney Channel’s answer to the Hypno Toad), is so successful that every toy company on the planet is trying to latch on to her. That’s disturbing in and of itself, but that’s not the worst of it. Co-Owner of toy company Brand New, Kelly Faso says “there hasn't been anything like Hannah Montana in a long time. They're comparing her phenomenon to the Beatles.” The Beatles.
“Hannah Montana’s only regret is that she is too young to have helped Hitler to fulfill his final solution. Hannah Montana re-edited Jabba the Hut into the original Star Wars. Hannah Montana force fed Heath Ledger all those pills. Hannah Montana bombed Pearl Harbor Hannah Montana invented the laugh track.” -Neil
“Hannah Montana plays softball with kittens.” -Captain Ross
“Hannah Montana made Godfather 3 and Gigli.” -LoganB
“If you play a Hanna Montana record backwards it says, ‘Hey thunder thighs, smoking crack is great for losing weight.’ It also says, ‘I killed JonBenet'.” -ibh
“Hannah Montana shits on the Constitution and then wipes her ass with the Declaration of Independence.” -Vimmy
“Hannah Montana is an expensive hat.” -Gladstone