Plungers, Germans and The Simpsons Already Did It: The Daily Nooner (EST)!

Wildcard! Art Imitates Life Everyone knows that The Simpsons have been on TV for like a bazillion years and have produced approximately sixty gazillion episodes. It's also a well-known fact that the Simpsons have done pretty much everything there is to do (as parodied in the "Simpsons Already Did It" episode of South Park), but that was always just sort of a joke, something that people said to emphasize how long the show has been on. Try telling that to Ricky Labit and Michael Borrelli, who were recently banned from a local buffet for eating too much. I have no problem with Simpsons plots actually occurring in real life, personally. It will make the world a funnier place to live, right? It will also make for new and wonderful quotes to marvel at:

Labit and Borrelli said they felt discriminated against because of their size. "I was stunned, that somebody would say something like that. I ain't that fat, I only weigh 277," Borrelli said, adding that a waitress told him he looked like he a had a "baby in the belly."

Yeesh. The article goes on to explain that the two men were banned because they "made a habit of dining exclusively on the more expensive seafood dishes, including crab legs and frog legs." Now I feel conflicted: I can't tell if this is hilarious or the saddest thing of all time. It'd be like if the real-life NASA sent an idiot into outer space¹ and his gross negligence caused the shuttle to explode, or if a real-life city built a monorail. ¹ I would just like to point out how amazing it is that The Simpsons sent a main character into outer space during their fifth season in 1994 and continued not only to be on the air, but somehow managed to stay funny and relevant for a while, too. Usually outer space means the end of a franchise (although I would argue that Leprechaun 4: In Space was every bit as thought-provoking as the first three).