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When a movie is just a series of excuses to beat the shit out of everyone for 90 minutes, that's called action porn. Jason Statham makes one of these every three months. I think the plot to his last movie was that he got his dick caught in a pile of meat and the only way to get it out was drag racing against the President of Tits.
In 2003, Tony Jaa made
Ong Bak and changed the face of action porn forever. It was the kind of movie where a guy would go looking for his village's missing statue head and accidentally walk through an underground
martial arts tournament and then accidentally win it. In one scene, he dumped his leg in oil, lit it on fire, did a 360 off a truck and kicked a guy with it. For you ladies that don't know anything about finishing moves, that's like killing a guy so hard that four of his Facebook posts disappear.
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I interviewed him during the film's press tour and I made his translator ask him if that stunt man that he fire-kicked was dead. His tiny people are so tough that in the Thai language, the phrase to ask this is only
ONE WORD LONG. Before the interview, Tony Jaa did a demonstration where he kicked a basketball off the top of a stack of stuntmen mid-backflip. I can verify with my own eyes that Tony Jaa is computer generated. Either that or he's some kind of puppet.
Tom-Yum-Goong: Now With 50 Percent Less Plot
After
Ong Bak, Mr. Jaa made
Tom-Yum-Goong. Somewhere along the way, he decided that patching action scenes together with plot was a waste of everyone's time. So if
Ong Bak was his
Debbie Does Dallas,
Tom-Yum-Goong was his
Best of Buttholes 17: Six Hours of Butthole Blasting Action!
Actually, most people call
Tom-Yum-Goong "Where's my Goddamn Elephant!?" because every scene is him bursting into a room hoping to find his elephant. And if that fails, plan B is punching fucking everything. I honestly don't know how they afforded to pay all the stunt actors he annihilated. My theory is that they just shot Tony Jaa up with gamma radiation and followed him with a camera as he rampaged.