Why The Martini is the Greatest Drink Ever Poured
You're welcome, America
And you'll save a fortune in embalming.
Mother didn't drink martinis at parties. Father wouldn't permit it after the abortion.
They had olives. They had wine. You can't say for certain He didn't invent the martini.
You'll know it when you don't see it.
A steady gun hand is the only acceptable reason to water down a martini by shaking.
A good starting point is some bureaucrat mowing your lawn while you're hard at work.
- It's anything other than a mixture of vermouth with gin or vodka.
Tuxedos help, but they're not everything when it comes to class.
Don Draper monsters through life like Fortune owes him a goodnight kiss.
The little hand is on "Now" and the big hand is on "Martini."
Martinis are good to the last drop, whereas memories are good till you get dropped.
Brendan McGinley writes manly comics and knows a few secrets about Don Draper.
And be sure to check out Brendan's views on Love. Or learn other ways to get blitzed with The World's 5 Worst Ways To Get Drunk.