Lindsay Lohan is apparently still news...

... so we still write about her here. Two bits of Lohan news (and the good two bits you might be hoping for) hit the newswire today. First, she wants to go back to making albums (since no one wants to make movies with her anymore). Second, her parents have finally settled their divorce. CRACKED has obtained this exclusive sneak-peek of what Lohan's as-yet-unrecorded-and-unreleased album's track listing looks like: 1. I Am The Cause of My Parents' Divorce 2. I Am More Than Two Large Breasts; I Also Have a Very Loose Vagina 3. Cocaine (Eric Clapton cover) 4. If You Think This Song Sucks, Imagine Me Singing It While Wearing a Bikini 5. Did I Mention I Have a Lot of Casual Sex? 6. Rock Me Like The Coked-Out Whore I Am 7. I Can't Get No Satisfaction (Without Illicit Substances) 8. My Mommy Loves Me, But My Daddy Loved Me A Lot More Often, If You Know What I Mean, Wink Wink 9. If You Are A Celebrity and Have a Penis, I Would Like to Engage in Sexual Intercourse With You 10. Stairway to Heaven (Lohantastic Remix)

To turn on reply notifications, click here

2 Comments

Load Comments

More Blogs

The 5 Weirdest Unanswered Questions Of The Marvel Universe

There are gaps in the fictional universe that multiply from one film to the next.

116

5 Annoying Things They Don't Tell You About Being A Parent

Most people have a pretty basic idea of what it's like to be a parent.

128

4 More Anticipated Movies That Are In Serious Trouble

Given everything we know, there's cause to be worried about these movies.

95

5 Reasons Gender-Flipped Remakes Never Work

Hollywood has taken the entirely wrong message from its box office receipts.

287

5 New (And Strangely Plausible) Conspiracy Theories

There's no shortage of downright absurd conspiracy theories out there.

162

5 Impressive Scams People Used To Get Out Of Work

Some days you just don't want to go to work.

78