Why Won't Americans Drink Tea?

Americans love waking up to gulp down as much jitter juice as they can get their hands on. But why is the only cold brew we like from a bean and not a leaf?

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This piece was written by the people who run the Cracked Store to tell you about products that are being sold there.

Expecting a project to manage itself is like expecting a baby to change its own diaper, or a man to perform his own surgery. OK, that second one actually happened. But in most cases, Thing X needs oversight by Thing Y, or it will become Thing Unfinished. And that's why the Project Management Professional Certification Training Bundle is so important for your upcoming project management job. Not only will it prove to your future employers that you have what it takes, but it'll also teach you the skills you need to get stuff done. The classes include:

Project Management Professional (PMI-PMP)


PMI-PMP


This globally recognized certification is among the most sought after in the industry, and demonstrates all the competencies you need to slam-dunk a project. Plus, "PMI-PMP" is very close to "PIMP," and that was a common brag in the early 2000s. Just something to consider, time travelers.

Certified Associate in Project Management (PMI-CAPM)


19B6 264 PMI-CAPM


No project experience? No project problem. This will teach you all the terminology and processes for effective management. This is the course for you if you've just started to dip that pinky toe into the project management waters.

Risk Management Professional (PMI-RMP)


PMI-RMP


What better way to prove that you don't take unnecessary risks than by showing someone a dang certification? This certification not only teaches you how to assess and identify project risks, but it also proves that you're the kind of person who knows how to avoid them entirely.

CompTIA Project+ PK0-003


COMPTIA PROJECT+


Want to focus on IT projects? Good call, since everything is going to be an IT project pretty soon. This certification is especially geared toward management in IT-related fields.

Six Sigma Green Belt


SIX SIGMA GREEN BELT


This 20-hour course will teach you the Six Sigma standards for creating an effective process for delivering products to your customers (and other stakeholders). You'll get 90 lectures that will help you attain a Six Sigma Green Belt, which is pretty impressive in Tae Kwon Do terms, and probably even more impressive in the context of Six Sigma.

Six Sigma Black Belt


SIX SIGMA BLACK BELT


Ready to get even better at Six Sigma? Here you go. These 94 lectures and 22 hours of content will help you master the Six Sigma organizing protocol, and maybe even achieve a little bit of enlightenment. Who knows?

PRINCE2 Foundation


PRINCE 2 FOUNDATION


This is one of the two courses you need to pass to become a PRINCE2 Practitioner, which is very little like being Prince the musician (sadly), but is nonetheless a very nice qualification for anyone pursuing a project management career.

PRINCE2 Practitioner


PRINCE 2 PRACTITIONER


Remember how we said that there are two certifications to become a PRINCE2 Practitioner? This is the second one.

Information Technology Infrastructure Library Foundation


ITIL FOUNDATION CE AASL P


This is the most widely accepted approach to IT Service Management. With this ITIL certification, you'll control the people who control the computers (and computers control the world).

Information Technology Infrastructure Library Service Operation


ITIL SERVICE OPERATION


This will take your ITIL skills to the final level. It's the cherry on top, if you will. Basically, you'll be the most employable and highly certified project manager on the planet.

All of these courses would normally cost a wallet-smacking $2,990, but you can get them all in the Cracked Store right now for just $49.

No matter what sorts of projects you're cooking up, we've got you covered. Check out The Ultimate Microsoft Project Bundle: Lifetime Access and the Quality Assurance And Project Management Bundle.

To ensure you never fall into bad work habits, check out Show 2018 Who's Boss With The Ultimate Productivity Bundle. You can always chill later.

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