âHello. Cool Ranch is delicious. We like chips. Hello again! We like chips. Did we tell you about chips? Hello there! Chips are tasty food. We like to put them in our mouths! Hello friend, Iâm calling on behalf of tasty chipsâ¦â These companies are wasting truly epic amounts of money, time and resources, just for the somewhat unlikely opportunity to fuck over our first Contact worse than Jodie Foster and her bullshit alien father. So, good lord, imagine if any jackass with a telephone could do the same thingâ¦ Well donât worry, you wonât have to do any strenuous imagining today - they totally did! A now defunct website named Talk To Aliens let anybody with four bucks a minute to spare route their cell phone calls through deep space transmitters. Thatâs a cost roughly equivalent to a phone sex line. So, for the same price as ear-fucking a Midwestern skank with shaky morals and a dead-end job, any dickhead could scream synonyms for "fart" and "balls" directly at highly advanced alien civilizations, and really let âem know just what weâre all about down here.