You can tell a lot about a person by how they use their time machine. Too often we see chrononauts waste their awesome power to perform at a high school dance or looper a looplooper of themselves. Rip Hunter ... Time Master didn't fret around time like an asshole. All day he was riding giant crabs or jump-kicking aliens, and his three sidekicks didn't give a shit that none of it had anything to do with time. If Rip Hunter told their time sphere to go back to the era of giant crabs, it only said, "FUCKING VROOM."

His adventures were, without exception, an unrelenting assault of fists and nonsense. Rip Hunter handled time travel with all the grace of Bill Cosby repositioning a lover, which is a great joke after you learn he uses a snow shovel. Rip left ray guns with cavemen. He punched out world leaders. He once collected Cleopatra, Helen of Troy, and other historical women just to see who was prettiest and it instantly turned into a catfight. The point is, he's the best and you're in luck, because I've uncovered a classic Rip Hunter ... Time Master adventure never seen before. Man Comics presents:

$.0. 5. TEACHING Hunter . HISTORY THE MEANING OF FUCK! APPROVED Rip FOR AGES MAN CA AND TME UP MASTER 12 MAN NO. 16 OH, RIP! WHEN ARE WE!? W-WHY WOULD
Rip Hustery TINE MASTER CHAPTER ONE: UNITED STATES OF EXTERMINATION! YA HERE ABOLIT A BIRTHDAY? CARLA AT RECEPTION LATER. BACK AT BOOKING HEY, SORCE
ADVERYISEMENT POPSICLE TWIN WHAT ARE ALL THERE'S the THESE PHOTOS, TESS? THE SHERIFF. TIM! SPIDERS? LIMP PENISES? TRY IT ON HEIP THE I CHERIFF DIDN'T
If Time Machines Were Built By Real Men
If Time Machines Were Built By Real Men
GREAT KICK, Rie:' AAARGH! THE ADVENTURES OF RIP HLUNTER... TIME MASTER CONTINUE ON THE NEXT PAGE!
HUH? HERE HA GEORGE HA HA HA! WASHINGT I'D TO INVITE HA HA HA! HA HA! HA HA HA!!! HA HA! GEORGE! AITTEEE!!!! FIGHT OH, YEAH. THAT WIZARD RUN! OH, RIP!
CRACKED ARTICLES VIDEOS COLUMNIS MOVIES & TV VIDEO GAMES WEIRD WORLD HISTORY SCIENCE TECH SEANBASY FLYINC ONAROC By Seanbaby 12 riew/s f Share Rip Hum
in Trapped FYOOK FYOOK timer EYOOK Fuching 0 The new Fyook EYOOK Arcade Game System plays all FYOOK the hottest games! Can FYOOK you suck all the butt
Rip Hunter TIME MASTER CHAPTER E suck AMERICA'S BUTTHOLE! MR. PRESIDENT! I HAVE AN URGENT BILL CALLING FOR You SUCK MY BUTTHOLE!!I! SUCK AMERICA'S B
If Time Machines Were Built By Real Men

Seanbaby invented being funny on the Internet. Geniuses play his critically acclaimed game Calculords on their mobile devices. You can follow him on Twitter.

For more of his manly manness, see 24 Video Game Covers To Double Your Testosterone or If Men's Magazines Were Way Manlier.



Also learn how you can technically catch up in age to your parents in 7 Theories On Time That Would Make Doc Brown's Head Explode, and find out why everything in the past would be virtually inedible to you in 6 Time Travel Realities Doc Brown Didn't Warn Us About.

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