Hannah Montana Should Date the Cracked Readers


"Hannah Montana dug up your grandpa’s corpse and took a shit on it." -Neil
"Hannah Montana’s unborn children, if laid end to end, should be able to circle the globe, but they do not because their mother’s scorn causes them to line up in an efficient double-helix configuration. This fetus-sized DNA is the blueprint for the anti-christ." -Glenn
"Hannah Montana made Dan O’Brien not feature one of my Hannah Montanisms this week." -Gladstone. True story.-D.O.B.
"Hannah Montana invented Hannah Montana." -mantelli That's just fuckin' deep, right there.-D.O.B.
"hannah montana make everybody mock of you in high school" -sieg God help me, I love Sieg's accent.
"Hanna Montana is sending you a Cease & Desist letter." -Jester21 Sent, received, and shredded.-D.O.B.
I'd really like to keep this going so, perhaps to shake things up a bit, instead of posting Mabisms in the comments below, post a few reasons why you, the Cracked Commenters, should be Hannah Montana's new boyfriend. If it is at all within my power, I will make sure these posts are brought to Hannah Montana's attention. So, Highlight some of your good qualities. I, for example, can cook, am adequate at racquetball, and probably won't blindfold you and drop you off in a forest on our second date. How about you? One of us is going to be dating Hannah Montana by the end of the year. And then we'll be ready for Phase 2...