I'm also not sorry about all the actual shouting I did in the ball pit. Children shout in there all the time without being sanctioned.
EMWestwood Photography/Moment/Getty Images
And display nowhere near the level of sophistication in their political reasoning.
I am, however, sorry that my shouting included so much adult language. While asserting my rights, I ended up losing one of my shoes in there, and it turns out to be super frustrating looking for a shoe in a ball pit.
I am sorry that I enlisted the children's help to find my shoe. A shoeless man interacting with children, regardless of his actual intent (to become shod), was never going to look good. Although I didn't do anything wrong, I regret the way this looked. I particularly regret repeatedly saying "balls" to the children, then winking.
I'm sorry I called you a fascist when you called the police on me. Fascism is a very specific ideology, which is too often confused with any from of authority, especially authority that the speaker disagrees with. Your actions were entirely reasonable within the framework of our free-market-based democratic society. I was mostly just mad because of the implications made by yourselves and standers-by that I might be some sort of child predator, and also because by that point I had lost my other shoe.