Charles Johnson, Pirate Hookers and The Crunchiest Cereal Ever: The (Friday) Nooner!
Sexy Halloween 2007 Sexy Costume #1: Captain Hooker After a week of beating around the bush, I'm relieved to finally get down to brass tacks and bring out the most direct, no-nonsense "sexy" Halloween costume of 2007. "Sexy Spider"? "Sexy Mouse"? Enough. Just be a pirate hooker, okay? I'll even start you off with some pirate-related innuendos for you to use:
Wild Card Great - Some Guy Who Isn't Me Just Made A Billion Dollars Thomas Edison once said that "Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration." Well guess what, Edison? Some dude just invented a bowl that can keep your cereal crunchy and he probably never broke a sweat. That's all you need these days to make a fortune: oddly-shaped plastic. Just look at the spork, or those things they stick in pizzas to keep the box from falling into the cheese. Piece of cake! A bowl that keeps cereal crunchy? Pfft. I could've thought of that. Now this guy beat us all to the punch, and now him and his fancy little plastic bowl are going to be hanging out with the spork guy, the plastic-pizza-box-thing guy and a whole bunch of other billionaires on a Carribean beach somewhere for the rest of his life. They'll be riding jet skis and drinking diamond juice out of human skulls and laughing, laughing at all the miserable saps who can't come up with any good ideas of their own. But my day will come... yes... someday I'll show them all. All it takes is an idea... just one good idea... Shit. Anyone have any ideas? Let's brainstorm.
Scroll down for the next article