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Ann Coulter's AMA Just Broke, Somehow

Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

Ann Coulter is a whole lot of things that I wanted to be when I grew up: tall, blonde, and a lawyer. Instead, I grew up to be 5-foot-4 with brown hair and a sense of empathy. She also seems to have aspirations to be a comedy writer, and based on her responses in this AMA, we've got a whole website here beating her on that front.

The first question was about her opinion on the rights of trans people. She actually has some really misguided gay friends in real life, so it's possible she could have come up with a response such as, "They can do whatever they want, but not with my tax dollars!" Instead, she delivered a line out of a UCB Improv 101 class, and Reddit was not amused.

Reddit

That was, for whatever reason, the only question she was able to answer before something just ... broke. A moderator had to step in to confirm that she was having an issue with the site, which is sort of to be expected from folks over the age of 50 using Reddit. One Redditor did the work of the saints and compiled Coulter's questions and answers all into one post.

She created a new account, got flair added so it was confirmed to be her, and went on to just be even more confusing.

Reddit

Hm, it's almost like she has a problem with foreigners or something. It seems she's a little self-hating as well. For example, she seems to have some sort of problem with women voting.

Reddit

3

Perez Hilton Defends His Own Nonsense

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It's really easy to hate someone whose chosen pen name is a lazy bastardization of someone else's real name. It's even easier to hate that person when they're Perez Hilton. For anyone who's been intelligent enough to avoid his word-vomit over the past, oh God, it's been over 10 years? Really? Jesus. Anyways, he's a blogger who got his start in LGBT media and then proceeded to shit all over the goodwill he'd built up by becoming famous for outing celebrities on his blog.

This is information that was not lost on Reddit, and unlike a whole lot of people in this article, he actually stood his ground and tried to defend his actions.

Reddit

Reddit

Look, I've been writing on the internet for a few years myself, and that's a load of crap, Perez. Though I value my readers immensely, I'd have to see a degree from culinary school before I accepted a dinner invite from any of them, and even then I'd probably still bring a can of bear mace along, just in case.

The idea of a person bullying gay people because he's gay himself is a tired enough trope that even Glee dragged it out for a couple of seasons, so the problem here is that Perez Hilton is out and proud. Outside of sociopathy, there's practically zero explanation for the way he conducts himself on his sites. Yes, sites, plural. I had to fact-check that, too. Perez claims that he's stopped outing people, which Snopes would probably call a "Mixture." Though Perez says it's been four to five years since he's done anything particularly awful, articles from as recently as a couple weeks ago claim to support "gay-baiting" celebrities like Nick Jonas, a target he's been at for a while now.

2

Wyclef Jean Defends Wasting Charity Money

Nicholas Hunt/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

We've sort of already covered how bad the Fugees as a whole are, so some of this should be old news, but let's just unpack the disaster zone that was Wyclef Jean's Reddit AMA.

It began innocuously enough, as a few Redditors asked about things like who his favorite artists to work with are. Then shit got nasty.

Reddit

Jean can't be the first crazy celebrity to have presidential aspirations, but it set off a firestorm of commentary about how he is even less qualified to call himself Haitian than Ted Cruz is to call himself American. Chief among those comments is probably this one, because much like hips, financial records don't lie.

Reddit

So basically that's a paragraph-long summary of about $9 million in fraud. A couple other comments addressed this stuff, probably making Jean sweat more than island heat. He more or less banged his forehead onto the keyboard to hammer out a response, which is the only real reason we can figure for this.

Reddit

1

John Rocker Is Still A Caricature Of A High School Jock

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From about 1994 to 2001, the Cleveland Indians were arguably the hottest team in baseball. Unfortunately, as a boy growing up in Northeast Ohio in the 1990s, this meant my role models were guys like Manny "I hate reporters" Ramirez (whose mint-condition rookie card I still have) and Albert "I forced one of my minions to crawl through an air shaft" Belle. Those guys were great ballplayers even if they were less-than-perfect people, but they were goddamned saints compared to our prized 2001 acquisition, John Rocker.

Rocker had been a loudmouth and a showboat his entire career, and blue-collar Cleveland was less than enthused with his shit. He didn't last a whole lot longer in the majors due to shoulder injuries, which were probably caused by the tremendous chip on them he lugged around that was based on the idea that he was better than anyone who looked different from him. Over a decade later, his wholly unnecessary AMA revealed that it apparently hadn't gone away.

Right off the goddamned bat (pun 100 percent intended), he revealed that he didn't know what Breaking Bad was, which is a great way to introduce yourself to the internet at large.

Reddit

Apparently, for as much as Cleveland hated having him around in 2001, Mets and Braves fans were way more sick of his shit than I could have possibly known. Here's a small smattering of how that went down.

Reddit

Reddit

The fascinating thing was that he actually had some valuable things to say when it came to actual baseball-related questions, such as the stress of being the closer of a ball game, who he thought was the hardest batter to pitch to, and this thought on how to prevent steroid use.

Reddit

Now that I've got this out of my system, I just need to see an AMA from Chris Perez about how to mail pot to my dog, and I can rest in peace.

Ask Isaac what he thinks about the Cleveland Indians' logo and current pitching staff on Twitter and Instagram.

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