Die Hard: With a Vengeance and any James Bond film with Bill Clinton's release of the two prisoners (shortened to "Clinton's Release" in the effort of time-saving).
Now let's take a look at the Bond comparisons.
See that? What's a guy supposed to do with that? As Cracked's Senior Expert on both presidents and Die Hard, the Die Hard-themed screenplay was a fairly easy fit. Bill Hard: With a Vengeance is a solid piece of work with definite sequel possibilities, and the inevitable porno spoof practically writes itself (or, it would write itself if I hadn't already written it. Hard Bill: With a Penis, comes out in October, all over your face). But, the James Bond-inspired Mission KIMpossible is equally magnificent.
I suppose I'll just have to release my trailer treatments and hope Paramount or Universal starts pouring money on me for one of them. Or both, really. It could be like Grindhouse, except people will watch it, ideally.
Bill Hard: With a Vengeance
If that doesn't grab your balls, I've also prepared my James Bond-inspired Clinton Biopic...
Bill Clinton is: Misson KIMpossible
Also there's an explosion.
The ball's in your court, People Who Make Movies. I only take money.
Sign up for the Cracked Newsletter
Get the best of Cracked sent directly to your inbox!