Bill Clinton's Badass Equivalent: Bond or McClane?
I don't know if you knew this or not, but real-life supervillain Kim Jong Il imprisoned two American journalists in North Korea and former president Bill Clinton saved the shit out of them. Just strolled into the country like it wasn't even a thing and walked out with a couple of lady journalists, pausing just briefly when he noticed some dirt on his shoulder that required brushing. Now, if there's one thing Hollywood loves, it's a good biopic. If there's two things Hollywood loves, it's a good biopic and something that Hollywood's already done before. Enter me. I am totally prepared to sell way the hell out and hand over some derivative, piece-of-shit biopic about Clinton's ridiculous, as-of-now completely mysterious North Korean exploits, completely ready for a Christmas release. My problem, in looking over the facts, is deciding if Clinton is John McClane or James Bond. This is honestly incredibly difficult for me to do. I have two screenplays about this situation ready to go but I can't tell which is more appropriate. Is Bill Clinton Bond or Die Hard? In reviewing Clinton's story as well as both films, the similarities are staggering. I even put together these two charts, to see where the movies and Clinton's story match up. The charts compare
Bill Hard: With a Vengeance
Coming Soon....?If that doesn't grab your balls, I've also prepared my James Bond-inspired Clinton Biopic...
Bill Clinton is: Misson KIMpossible
Also there's an explosion.
Coming Soon?!?!The ball's in your court, People Who Make Movies. I only take money.