Bad news for the economy yesterday, which was a surprising change of pace from all the awful news we've been getting lately. The National Bureau of Economic Research (they're awesome guys) announced that yes Virgina, there really is a recession.
Although no-one anywhere admits to being surprised by this news, Wall Street collectively was
surprised and proceeded to lose their shit, sending the Dow down 680 points.
If you're the average Cracked reader (re: Ziploc-bag-fetishist/occasional Sears catalog model) none of those above words will make a lick of sense to you. Seeing as I'm Cracked.com's official Overseas/Heroes/Olympics/Financial Canadian Correspondent, and also because I've recently been instructed to write articles that are really unpopular, I'm here to shed some light on these confusing time.
Ok, first what's a recession?
Much like breasts, economies can never be too large, which is why it's important that they're always slowly growing, and one of a few reasons why we're so disappointed that breasts don't. A recession then is simply a period when an economy stops growing and instead shrinks. Recessions are generally accompanied by rising unemployment, books by John Steinbeck, and a general lack of Good Times.