I'm sick and tired of the press slandering Angelina Jolie with fabricated allegations based on mere hearsay. The latest rumor is that the actress and procurer of ethnic babies has an eating disorder. Such allegations are shameful. Where's the proof, I ask? What's this libelous canard based on? I'm waiting, you paparazzi scum. Answer me! Nothing? Yeah, well I can wait all day. Meanwhile, I'll be over here playing my favorite game: Which One's Angelina?
Things could always be much, much worse.
You've probably never heard of it.
The cops will come swooping in the seconds the credits roll.