This week I return to the man who started it all -- Larry King. And I can promise you this: so long as there is a Hate By Numbers, there will be more Larry King shows. He is the poster child for everything this segment is about. But in truth, this wasn't the show I intended to bring to you. Instead, I had a Fox News report on whether teachers should be allowed to post pictures on MySpace. The story featured all the other elements of a typical Hate By Numbers -- sanctimonious puritanical hypocrisy (and breasts). But before i could capture it, Fox News pulled it off their website -- presumably to make more room for stories speculating about whether Barack Obama is a secret Muslim. So I went searching in a panic. The lovely and talented David Wong was there to hold my hand and bring me a tissue as I whined about my lost segment and all but abandoned hope. I seriously considered not doing a show this week. But then David said something that clicked with me:
"Christ, Gladstone. Strap on and shut up. You sound just like the little bitch your detractors accuse you of being."
I knew David was right as sure as I knew that one day Michael Swaim would land a guest shot on
Two and A Half Men and bad mouth me to Jon Cryer over Mojitos in his trailer. So here it is, Larry King interviewing Stanley Romanek -- some dude who claims he captured video footage of an alien.
Equipped a bionic hand that was a 16th-century technological marvel, Götz von Berlichingen is said to have delivered the invitation to rim him to a general who invited him to surrender, and in Germany, his name alone is now interpreted as the same