5 Steps to Having The Most Badass Funeral Ever
We all get older. Just take a look at some of last week's columns -- Surprising Upsides to Getting Married, Words that Take on New Meanings When You Get Older, Advice That Doesn't Make Sense Until It's Too Late -- it's even happening to us: The idiot man-children of the internet. Aging is The Terminator: It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead.But who said mortality had to be so goddamn boring?
The Procession
The Epitaph
The Ceremony
Preparation of the Body
Last Will and Testament
You can buy Robert's book, Everything is Going to Kill Everybody: The Terrifyingly Real Ways the World Wants You Dead, or follow him on Twitter, Facebook and Google+. Or you could get a headstart on mourning him: In lieu of flowers, please just fistfight your nearest government official.
Check out more from Robert in If The Characters from 'Street Fighter 2' Got Hammered and The 8 Manliest Foreign Movie Posters Ever.