You know, it's easier to write the word "photo" than the word "selfie," and it also makes more sense.
The Overall Experience Was Sad ... But In A Good Way
When you pay for a con, you pay for an experience. You're not just there to see superstars like Kevin "God's Not Dead, But He Does Avoid Eye Contact With Me" Sorbo, or to buy overpriced but delicious fudge, or to watch people who made their costumes out of plumbing supplies and sofa upholstery struggle to maintain consciousness in a room that has no air conditioning and is hovering around 100 stagnant, fudge-stinking degrees. You're there for it all. A lot of people lose out on this fact, focus on one thing, and become easily disappointed. There wasn't enough to do, the line was too long, I couldn't touch Levar Burton's eyeballs to see if they were real. A con is like a stew: You need to savor every little bit together, not just pick out the chunks of meat like a schmuck.
With this in mind, this con was pretty dope. Pretty dope because I literally held a sausage in my hand while I snapped photos of Alan Thicke for the purposes of writing an article about it, which in turn meant I was being paid to do it. When else am I ever going to get paid to take pictures of Alan Thicke?
This may not be your cup of tea, and in fact may seem like the living embodiment of abject horror and boredom, but hey, we're different people, and I'm trying to be more positive lately. If I can't see the silver lining in processed meat dongs and '80s sitcom dads, then who am I, anyway?
Would I attend this con again? Maybe. Maybe the cast of Family Ties will be here next year. Maybe Balki from Perfect Strangers. I can only guess. But one thing I do know is that if Alf ever shows up at a con, I'm going to drop-kick him right in the sternum. Whatever happens, it'll be worth it.
You can follow Felix Clay on Twitter. Or not even follow him, but just show up in the same place at the same time.
You can wallow in even more small-town sadness in 6 Movie Locations You Can Visit (But Probably Shouldn't), and see why even big-city cons are terrible in 4 Miserable Experiences You Can't Avoid at Comic-Con.
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