Why Won't Americans Drink Tea?

Americans love waking up to gulp down as much jitter juice as they can get their hands on. But why is the only cold brew we like from a bean and not a leaf?

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"Will they or won't they?" It's a question as old as whatever the early Holocene version of Friends was (Tribe?). And it's the secret rom-com within all things Detective Comics. Will Batman find true love and start a more nuclear Bat Family with the only woman who's ever really understood him? Or will that not happen so that more comic book storylines can?

TOURNEE DU GAT NOIR SELiNA KYLE DE

Come on, Bats: She's smart, sexy, disguised, and dressed in black, and she has a secret identity based on an animal, but not in some weirdly literal way. It's time those two crazy kids put their specific moral codes aside and got their matching insanities together. And in case you (the reader and/or Bruce) have never quite seen Catwoman as the classy lady she always has been, we asked frequent Redbubble designer Baznet to mash her up with that poster everyone has in their kitchen next to wine. See? She's got Le Chat Noir elegance and Le Five Finger Discount practicality. If a Wayne/Kyle wedding isn't on the horizon, they might as well stop writing plucky DA/journalist/Al-Ghul love interests for that cowled nutcase.

-BILLIONAIRE- PLAYB Y

Then again, maybe he's just a guy who can't settle down. It's hard enough being rich and handsome your whole life, let alone a traumatized crime-fighting orphan. Try behaving normally or committing to one person when you've got "ignore Katie Holmes to wine and dine two wet models at once" swag. That's why this design from Cracked fan/Twin Peaks superfan AgentCoop brings together Bruce Wayne's vigilante basement and grotto-ready upstairs manor, right down to the bat-eared replacement for Playboy's creepily ubiquitous bunny.

There's More DC Where That Came From

IMTE LLII WAYNE ENTpARAL

Our Weekly Dose of Envy

Going off of that Supes shirt, there's never any point in beating yourself up over old mistakes. Yes, you could have gone for that promotion or chatted up that stranger or greenlit a standalone Wonder Woman movie that could have made you literally made of money. But it's simply too late, just like it's too late for us to make any of these five great new shirt ideas ourselves. All we can do is tip our 1960s question-mark bowler to you (the competition) and help you (the citizen) enjoy and buy these great shirts for your wearing pleasure.

5)

GLENZ

Available at Glennz Tees

2)

2 New Shirts for Batman and Catwoman Fans

Available at Society6

1)

shirtoid.com

Available at Shirtoid

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