Top Picks 08.28.09: Scream Queens and Douchebag Colleges

Some of the best stuff from around the web and the Cracked.com Mirth Canal.

08.28.2009

Film's hottest scream queens: [Rotten Tomatoes]

Your dose of celebrity gossip: [Ask Men]

The 25 Douchiest Colleges in America: [GQ]
Thanks to dagur in the Mirth Canal.

Batmobile, Batcycle and Bat... Pogo stick?: [Adult Swim]

10 Sexy Stewardes- sorry, "Flight Attendants": [Uncoached]

This is too stupid not to buy: [Asylum]

Old folks gettin' fresh on the dance floor: [YouTube]
Thanks to Brian via email.

WiFi Prostitutes: [College Humor]

10 Best After School Specials: [Liquid Generation]

"Sir, you're under arrest for illegal cockfighting." "Fine, whatever, just don't let those assholes at the Humane Society hurt my birds.":[Fark]

"She's fucking fat. WTF?": [I Am Bored]

Carin Ashley shows us it's OK to wear a bathrobe to the beach: [Gorillamask]

Required reading for the ladies (or the dudes if you roll that way): [lemondrop]

Visual Effects: 100 Years of Inspiration: [YouTube]
Thanks to Liqourish in the Mirth Canal.

Only in America: The Mona Lisa painted with burger grease: [The Chive]

15 Most Awkward Celebrity Childhood Photos: [Retro Comedy]

5 Reasons Why Rob Zombie Must Be Stopped: [Mania]

27 Playmates on Twitter: [coed]

Luda's fantasies are just a little too unrealistic, even for him: [11Points]

What happens in our office whenever Editor-in-Chief Jack O'Brien comes walking through: [YouTube]
Thanks to Local Penguin in the Mirth Canal.

Conando returns: [Huffington Post]

We present to you Cracked's yacht: [College Humor]

And finally, your insane Wikipedia page of the day: A list of celebrity sex tapes!
Submitted by GOTI in the Mirth Canal.

If you want to find out what we're looking at online before we post it here, be sure to follow us on Twitter and become our fan on Facebook.

08.25.2009

We thought the police hired people who, you know, could draw to be their sketch artists: [TruTV]
Thanks to Ripper in the Mirth Canal.

Family Guy's worst vacations: [Adult Swim]

Lifetime jumps the shark: [Huffington Post]

Holy shit this is disgusti- wait where did Brockway just run off to?: [Asylum]

We really hope the universe isn't a PC: [College Humor]

"We've had our breakfast of coffee and smokes, now someone put Beyonce on": [Nic Billington and Co.]
Thanks to Emma via email.

From the "It Could Only Happen in the South" file:[Fark]

Sign up to get A-List info every Friday: [Ask Men]

How we wish we were that marble pillar: [Gorillamask]

10 Famous Musicians Falling On Stage: [Uncoached]

How to pull an office prank: [The Chive]

15 Most Awkward Celebrity Childhood Photos: [Retro Comedy]

When wrestlers and Hollywood collide: [Mania]

Well, guess this settles that question: [I Am Bored]

The 12 Dumbest Convicted Athletes: [coed]

11 Firsts in Internet History: [11Points]

Rapper screwed by label, gets free education in the end: [NY Daily News]
Thanks to ralf23 in the Mirth Canal.

We'd say this was romantic... if magicians weren't totally dorky: [College Humor]

"It was an art project!" "That's it, lock her up.": [lemondrop]

10 Best After School Specials: [Liquid Generation]

"Combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell": [Da Racist]
Thanks to Nedroid in the Mirth Canal.

And finally, your insane Wikipedia page of the day: If a kangaroo is unable to pass gas, would it still laugh at fart jokes?
Submitted by daimon67 in the Mirth Canal.

08.21.2009

When a Fist Meets a Face: [Uncoached]

Bears are awesome: [The Chive]

Ahoy! Thar be boobies: [Adult Swim]

"What this song needs... is more airhorn": [Funny or Die]
Thanks to Brian via email.

Is there anything Hitler won't get pissed at?: [Comedy.com]

"Her existence to me is like daughter, younger sister and bride all put into one." Does he have sex with her? "Yes.": [New York Times]
Thanks to Man With Beard in the Mirth Canal.

The 5 Greatest Nazi Killers: [Mania]

Rejected MTV Movie Award shorts: [College Humor]

The Today Show's standards for guests have really bottomed out: [Huffington Post]

When threesome's go wrong:[Fark]

12 Weird Hotel Rooms From Around the World: [Asylum]

Mary Alison's curves are so dangerous they should be illegal: [Gorillamask]

A review of Inglourius Basterds: [Ask Men]

Confessions From a Couple Who Met Online: [lemondrop]

They'll make anything into a sport nowadays: [I Am Bored]

Is this the beginning of real Transformers?: [YouTube]
Thanks to m3anmarin3 in the Mirth Canal.

11 Secrets for Taking Amazing Nude Photos: [11Points]

Some mean-ass nerdy boobs: [Liquid Generation]

These put our cardboard fort at the office to shame: [Cardboard Sculptures]

When the Emperor died, the Sith sank to new lows to recruit members: [College Humor]

More reasons you should be watching Mad Men: [coed]

And finally, your insane Wikipedia page of the day: Apparently our childhood was nothing but lies.
Submitted by HappyKitty in the Mirth Canal.

08.18.2009

Spell my Finger: [Adult Swim]

Our scores were so low because no one in the office has seen a potato not in French fry form: [Pornstar or Potato]
Thanks to Kalli in the Mirth Canal.

10 Signs You're Too Stupid to be on Facebook: [Big Stupid Idiot]

A John Williams classic, reimagined by sharks: [College Humor]

The best jokes of the week: [Huffington Post]

UNO! Now with more knifings and battery:[Fark]

First our furry little friends, next will be us: [Asylum]

Training Day starring McLovin: [Trailer Trasher]

Apparently Gwen Stefani is drop-dead gorgeous: [The Chive]

The Top 49 Men: [Ask Men]

10 Sexy Videos of Girls Eating Icecream: [Uncoached]

10 Worst Marriages in Cartoondom: [Comedy.com]

The first iPhone: [I Am Bored]

Engineering student? Or Juggernaut?: [YouTube>]
Thanks to tomroadrunner in the Mirth Canal.

11 Best Photos of Spelling Mistakes: [11Points]

Today's Big Thing: [iGun rampage]

Shaq is a dancing machine: [Jock and Balls]

What happened to the days of girls just playing with Barbie and having dirt thrown at them by boys?: [YouTube]
Thanks to chad.rojas via email.

Aylen Alvarez in what is either a NSFW photoshoot or a philosophical exploration of the question: How much of a T-Shirt and shorts can be cut off before they are no longer a T-Shirt and shorts? [Gorillamask]

It's only a matter of time before craigslist gets in on this: [Moon Publicity]
Thanks to Nktalloth in the Mirth Canal.

Sex Scene or Murder Scene?: [Liquid Generation]

Can this really be considered a giant cupcake? Or is it just a big cake?: [lemondrop]

5 Kick Ass Baseball Fight Videos: [coed]

5 WTF Moments in Movies: [Mania]

"K, sir, what do you want?" "A unicorn fucking a dolphin." "Great! That's my specialty!": [College Humor]

And finally, your insane Wikipedia page of the day: LGBT characters in video games.
Submitted by HappyKitty in the Mirth Canal.

If you want to find out what we're looking at online before we post it here, be sure to follow us on Twitter and become our fan on Facebook.

08.14.2009

Why we'll never top the 70s: [Asylum]

Why dogs are awesome: [Video]
Thanks to selftitled in the Mirth Canal.

An important message from Megan Fox: [College Humor]

The Real Housewives of Lancaster County: [Huffington Post]

How to Be a Successful Jerry Springer Guest: [LA Weekly]

Ass stabbings? You crazy Aussies:[Fark]

25 Awesome Photos: [The Chive]

The greatest business card on the planet: [The Laugh Track]

Top 10 Sin Cities: [Ask Men]

Seriously, when are these guys coming out of the closet?: [Uncoached]

10 Most Moronic Cartoon Pets: [Comedy.com]

"Johnson, put a message on that board that will really get kids in the mood to come back to school.": [I Am Bored]

Can you achieve equilibrium?: [Translation Party]
Thanks to Demha in the Mirth Canal.

Mystery solved: the shows that came on after The Simpsons: [11Points]

Today's Big Thing: [Guy catches laptops with his butt]

7 Videos of Quentin Tarantino Acting Like an Ass: [Trailer Trash]

13 Signs That Show She's Loser: [The Frisky]

Shonda Lee reminds us why we never want summer toe end: [Gorillamask]

Pranknet's leader is a jobless and living with his mom: [TSG]
Thanks to Honest Abe in the Mirth Canal.

10 Funniest Ralph Wiggum Quotes: [Liquid Generation]

There may yet be hope for those of us who are balding: [lemondrop]

Girl power the Robot Chicken way: [Adult Swim]

How to pick the right college: [coed]

5 Movies that Ripped Off Comics: [Mania]

We're never eating at Chuck E. Cheese's again: [College Humor]

And finally, your insane Wikipedia page of the day: Stunt cocks. Unfortunately, they don't perform dangerous stunts.
Submitted by easilyconfused in the Mirth Canal.

08.11.2009

Does your locality have the manliest restaurant? Submit it, if you've got the balls: [Asylum]

Leaked footage from Iron Man 2: [I Am Bored]

Damn you for toying with us, Microsoft: [Today's Big Thing]
Thanks to ralf23 in the Mirth Canal.

What our girlfriends and wives are getting for Christmas: [College Humor]

Miley Cyrus teaches a generation of girls to pole-dance: [Huffington Post]

Wife of Twitter CEO tweets... while giving birth: [Fark]

When your mother tells you to pick up all your empty Cheetos bags, just show her these: [The Chive]

Insane theories about the universe (that turned out to be true): [Ask Men]

Demotivational car posters: [Uncoached]

7 Media Companies Too Stupid To Snag Their Own Name On YouTube: [Comedy.com]

11 Most Obscure Online Dating Sites: [11Points]

Today's Big Thing: [Taser Surprise]

Ladies and gentlemen, the Santa Cruz city council: [YouTube]
Thanks to codespyder in the Mirth Canal.

Before They Were Boob Jobs: [Liquid Generation]

Apparently lesbian clubs aren't all kissing and naked pillow fights: [lemondrop]

Hank hires a junkie. Hilarity ensues: [Adult Swim]

5 Superhero Scabs: [Mania]

A screenshot from a show we can really get behind: [College Humor]

And finally, your insane Wikipedia page of the day: Pianos + Cats = How is this page not an internet meme, yet?
Submitted by Demha in the Mirth Canal.

08.07.2009

The question that plagues modern man: technology or women?: [Asylum]

Things doctors have learned from their patients: [Doctors]
Thanks to TheNerdyBee in the Mirth Canal.

Screw Rock Band, we want to do this: [College Humor]

The movies that are destroying America: [Huffington Post]

Probably the sweetest story on the Internet... ever: [Fark]

17 WTF signs: [The Chive]

The rumors about an Apple tablet are becoming a reality: [Ask Men]

Sexy milk commercials: [Uncoached]

Karate practitioners less qualified than Daniel Larusso: [Big Stupid Idiot]

Jeri Lee shows off her exotic... sneakers: [Gorillamask]

11 Hilarious Strip Club Signs: [11Points]

The best cat on the Internet: [Maru]
Thanks to Sanchez in the Mirth Canal.

When celebrities fall on their rich asses: [Liquid Generation]

How to sound smart even when you're blitzed: [lemondrop]

Every G.I. Joe sketch from Robot Chicken: [Adult Swim]

Bad news for 80s kids. 5 Reasons Why GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra Will Suck [Mania]

Make your own Kenyan birth certificate: [KBCG]
Thanks to Mongo in the Mirth Canal.

The formative years of the classic douchebag: [I Am Bored]

The five sexiest newspapers on the planet: [Coed Magazine]

The bastardization of our childhood continues: [College Humor]

And finally, your insane Wikipedia page of the day: A much too long entry about a town with six people living in it.
Submitted by Quagmar in the Mirth Canal.

08.04.2009

A salute to Betty White: [Asylum]

Paper towels can do anything: [Today's Big Thing]
Thanks to Remington in the Mirth Canal.

HOLY SHIT NEW CELEBRITY SEX TAPE: [College Humor]

The best boy band ever: [Huffington Post]

Apparently things are OK in England crime-wise if the police have nothing better to do than this: [Fark]

31 totally rad pictures: [The Chive]

Top 10 Fantasy Retreats: [Ask Men]

Hot girls doing body shots: [Uncoached]

Alyssa makes our Frangedakis rise: [Gorillamask]

11 Photos of People Totally Ruined By Sex in the Background: [11Points]

Find a McRib anywhere: [McRib Locator]
Thanks to Honest Abe in the Mirth Canal.

Guess the Celebrity Fatty: [Liquid Generation]

Steve-O gives relationship advice: [lemondrop]

Schizophrenzy: [Adult Swim]

8 Cartoons That Must Be Turned Into Films: [Mania]

The greatest ad ever: [I Am Bored]

The rosters for the LFL are up... as are our pants: [Coed Magazine]

When religion meets Internet memes: [College Humor]

And finally, your insane Wikipedia page of the day: A disturbing behind-the-scenes look at Flipper.
Submitted by Local Penguin in the Mirth Canal.

Still have time to waste? Check out July's Top Picks.