Bobby Lee Isn’t Buying Bert Kreischer’s Creepy ‘Kill Tony for OnlyFans’ Scheme
Even the guy who spent years joking about a disturbing encounter with an underaged sex worker knows that the phrase “OnlyFans pimp” is not one that anybody wants to associate with Bert Kreischer.
For the last several weeks, Kreischer has grown increasingly fixated on his plan to “pimp an OnlyFans page” by recruiting an amateur adult model to let him “manage” her content, platform and revenue. After Kreischer furiously reported that the women of his “content house” shut down his attempt to recruit a female employee for his sex work scheme, Kreischer has been using his podcast 2 Bears, 1 Cave, which he co-hosts with Tom Segura, to advertise the OnlyFans “opportunity” and screen applicants for the project Kreischer claims that his plan will elevate a young, attractive woman to OnlyFans superstardom, and he has no shortage of prospects — after all, who wouldn’t want to be a sex worker whose body of work (and body itself) belongs to an overweight, alcoholic podcaster?
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So far, Kreischer has had a hard time convincing his colleagues that his plan to become an “OnlyFans pimp” isn’t a creepy, possibly-career-jeopardizing distraction. During Kreischer’s recent appearance on the TigerBelly podcast, host Bobby Lee visibly bristled when Kreischer declared, “I don’t understand why everyone doesn’t have an OnlyFans!”
“It’s a good idea! Tommy and I are adopting an OnlyFans girl for 2 Bears, we’re going to have a 2 Bears OnlyFans girl,” Kreischer explained of his new business venture while Lee shook his head and gave the “cut it” hand gesture to the TigerBelly producers. “And then we’re gonna help run her OnlyFans, create her OnlyFans, generate content for her OnlyFans, produce her OnlyFans and help blow her up so she can make a ton of money!”
As the room tensed up at Kreischer’s pitch, Kreischer attempted to put the idea into Manosphere terms, saying it would be “kind of like a Kill Tony of OnlyFans, like someone who’s good and talented, but only has a minute!” Kreischer then told Lee, “You and (Lee’s other podcast) Bad Friends should do the same thing!”
“It’s a little creepy, no?” Lee asked Kreischer.
“No!” Kreischer insisted. “I don’t understand why everyone doesn’t have an OnlyFans! For real, if I had boobs, I’d have an OnlyFans!” He later added, “I don’t understand that any woman’s broke when you can just do OnlyFans!”
TigerBelly co-host Khalyla Kuhn, who clearly understands the sex work industry better than the “OnlyFans pimp” trying to take it by storm, then explained to Kreischer that the economics of the platform aren’t quite that simple. “I feel like it’s maybe oversaturated, like it’s hard to be the one-percent earner,” Kuhn opined.
Kuhn is right, but, even then, the business isn’t quite as lucrative as Kreischer believes it to be. According to some sources, the average annual income for that top one percent of OnlyFans earners is just $49,000, which is barely enough to scrape by in a major city, especially after Kreischer takes his 10 percent off the top. Meanwhile, Variety reported that the average mean income across all OnlyFans models is just $1,300.
Nevertheless, and despite the obvious fact that Kreischer knows absolutely nothing about how to start a successful OnlyFans page, he and Segura continue to receive “auditions” from 2 Bears, 1 Cave fans who mistakenly believe that Kreischer can make them rich. Although, at the end of the day, at least one woman is going to make a killing off of Kreischer’s OnlyFans scheme — those workplace harassment settlements are rarely cheap.
