No, Mr. Burns Isn’t Actually the CEO of the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant
The Simpsons’ C. Montgomery Burns has famously thrown all morality to the wind in pursuit of obscene wealth. He attempted to block out the sun, stole a litter of puppies, and most egregiously, worked alongside the Nazis in an attempt to secure his comically oversized money bags.
These efforts earned Mr. Burns an estimated net worth of $1.3 billion and cemented his status as Springfield’s local supervillain, though he never took the final step to fully control his energy empire. Instead, he let his pet bird, Canary M. Burns, serve as the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant’s top fowl.
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So why let a bird take the credit for his life’s work? Because he needed a fall guy — especially one that could take flight whenever it did fall.
“I wouldn’t go to jail,” Mr. Burns told Smithers when confronted about his illegal dumping practices in Season 14’s “C.E. D’oh.” “The legal owner of this plant would: Canary M. Burns.”
Placing the “entire plant” in his pet’s name, the centenarian explained, would help him avoid facing accountability for comically evil crimes, like hiding nuclear waste in Legoland and in Springfield’s playgrounds.
“When they come to put C.M. Burns in jail, it’s the canary that does the time,” Mr. Burns explained of the practice, one he claimed “tycoons have been doing for years.”
“Why, Standard Oil was once owned by a half-eaten breakfast,” he insisted.
Considering Mr. Burns has managed to avoid jail time for his dastardly deeds, letting his bird serve as CEO has apparently worked for him. But if the feds ever do come knocking, we imagine that C.M. will sing like the bird he is.
