Did the ‘It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia’ Season Finale Just Add A New Gang Member?

In tonight’s It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Dennis and Dee met their new mom.

Ever since he joined the main cast of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia back in Season Two, Frank Reynolds has been, unquestionably, the single most romantic member of the Paddy’s Pub Gang. Frank’s relationship drama with his first wife Barbara was what dragged him back into the lives of his not-children in the first place, and his entrance into Dennis and Dee’s ecosystem led to a number of romantic encounters and flashbacks, most of which ended either in tragedy or in an ugly incident of racial profiling. But despite the setbacks, Frank never stopped looking for the perfect bang maid to service his heart as well as his crank, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do they part.

Well, spoilers ahead, because in “Golden Bachelor Live,” Frank found that lucky lady after so many years wasted searching for her under bridges and at orgies. In the Always Sunny Season 17 finale, Sam (or Samantha, as she was once called), a chicken heiress played by Carol Kane, falls in love with Frank, and he falls in love with her right back, leading to an emotional final scene where they embrace in the pouring rain and agree to spend the rest of their lives together.

Just think about how deadly close we were to an entire 18th season of the Cock Chewa Show.

Yes, despite Frank’s inclination to pick either “the 20-year-old” or his long-time bang maid Bonnie Kelly as the recipient of the golden rose, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia’s most wealthy, elderly and eligible bachelor went with the wise-cracking, no-nonsense widow who pickled the severed penis of her late first husband. To the relief of Jesse Palmer and the entire Golden Bachelor audience, Frank is getting married, and it won’t be to a woman whose vocabulary is mostly limited to four unsettling words.

Now, as is the case in real life, there’s a high likelihood that the marriage arranged by Palmer and his ABC producers will quickly fall apart, as reality dating shows don’t have a much higher hit rate for long-term partnerships than the average Elvis chapel in Las Vegas. However, it seems unlikely that Rob Mac and his writers will decide to ax an actress of Kane’s caliber off-screen and between seasons, so we at least expect the Sam/Frank love affair to last until the Season 18 premiere.

Perhaps Sam really is here to stay on Always Sunny, in which case, she should be on her guard for when the Gang tries to get their claws in her chicken fortune — and stay far away from Carmine’s.