14 Lies from Athletes Whose Athletic Pants Are on Fire
If you’re going to lie about breaking a marathon record, at the very least you have to work up a bit of a lather.
We Would Never Tamper With the Olympics to Appease Nazis!
Avery Brundage, who was president of the American Olympic Committee leading up to the ‘36 Berlin Games, addressed rumblings of German fascism: “Politics must not be brought into sports. I have not heard of anything to indicate discrimination of any race or religion.” Meanwhile, he’d already barred Jewish athletes Marty Glickman and Sam Stoller from an American relay team, apparently in an effort to please one Adolph Hitler.
Lance Armstrong’s Pants-on-Fire Cameo
In his once-iconic Dodgeball cameo, he says “Quit? You know, once I was thinking about quitting when I was diagnosed with brain, lung and testicular cancer, all at the same time. But with the love and support of my friends and family, I got back on the bike and I won the Tour de France five times in a row.” He was later found to have benefited from the love and support of performance enhancing drugs as well.
Chad Ochocinco Followed Through, But for the Wrong Reason
In 2010, Ochocinco told Bob Costas that “If (Darrelle) Revis were to shut me down, I will change my name back to Johnson.” That season, Ochocinco put up zeros against Revis in one game, and a scant 38 yards in a second. He changed his name back to Johnson in 2012, but it was because he was getting married and his fiance wanted a less weird name.
Not ‘Performance Enhancing,’ Per Se, But Still Sus
When David Wells pitched a perfect game in 1998, he seemed to take a page out of Doc Ellis’ book and copped to being “half drunk” throughout the ordeal. But he later published a book, Perfect I’m Not! Boomer on Beer, Brawls, Backaches & Baseball, backtracking on that embellishment somewhat and claiming he was merely hungover.
Al Martin’s Faulty Memory
After the MLB left fielder collided with a Seattle Mariners teammate, he compared the impact with a tackle he made on Michigan running back Leroy Hoard while playing football for USC in 1986. A couple of problems with that story: He was already in the MLB that year, and USC has no record he ever went there, let alone played football.
Rosie Ruiz Flew Too Close to the Sun
The (supposed) runner managed to qualify for the 1979 New York City Marathon by writing to the organizers about her (supposed) brain cancer. An investigation after the race found that she had skipped at least part of the course, and she was DQ’d. She pulled the same stunt at the following year’s Boston Marathon, this time (supposedly) setting a course record. Organizers noticed she was neither out of breath, nor sweating, and she was again disqualified.
Miguel Tejada Lied About His Age
The shortstop was signed to the Oakland Athletics in 1993 at the ripe old age of 17 — or was he?!?! The crack reporters at ESPN hired a Dominican law firm to track his birth certificate, which proved he was in fact 19. Nearly two decades after the truth came out, it’s still unclear who, exactly, cares.
Tanguy Ngombo Lied About His Age
The stakes were significantly higher on this one. The 6-foot-6 21-year-old Qatari forward turned out to actually be 26 after he was drafted to the Minnesota Timberwolves. For one thing, five years makes a big difference in the longevity of an athlete; for another, any international player over the age of 22 isn’t eligible for the NBA draft. Tanguy even registered by the ever-so-slightly different name of “Targuy” in an apparent attempt to throw folks off his trail.
Robert Isray Is Committed to the City of Baltimore
In 1980, Baltimore Colts owner Robert Isray called his new facility “a symbol of our dedication to bring winning football back to our fans. We want our team to match the standards set by this building.” Within four years, he’d quietly turn the team into the Indianapolis Colts and slink his ass out of town.
Bud Selig’s $307 Million Miscalculation
In 2002, MLB commissioner Bud Selig claimed that the league was operating at a loss of $232 million, which was fact-checked in real time by a Forbes editor, who pointed out the league had actually made a $75 million profit.
Nick Saban? Coach Alabama? Never!
In the aftermath of Mike Shula’s firing in 2006, rumors swirled that Miami Dolphins coach Nick Saban might step in as head coach of the Crimson Tide for the 2007 season. Saban became extremely prickly when the press asked him for clarification, insisting, “I’m not going to be the Alabama coach. I don’t know how many times I’ve got to respond to rumor and innuendo.” Rumor became fact a handful of days after that statement.
How Did Jeff Kent Break His Wrist?
The second baseman showed up to training camp with a broken wrist, which he said he’d suffered while washing his truck. But the truth eventually came out: He’d busted his ass doing wheelies on his motorcycle, in direct violation of his contract.
George Steinbrenner Will Let the Baseball Guys Handle the Baseball
Shipbuilding magnate George Steinbrenner promised on the eve of his acquisition of the Yankees that he wouldn’t meddle in team business: “We plan absentee ownership, as far as running the Yankees is concerned. We’re not going to pretend we’re something we aren’t. I’ll stick to building ships.” How’d that one work out, George?
George Steinbrenner’s a Big Tough Guy
He claimed that he was accosted by a couple of rowdy L.A. fans after the Yankees lost the World Series in 1981: “I clocked them. There are two guys in this town looking for their teeth and two guys who will probably sue me.” No one has ever corroborated the story, and there was no evidence of the broken bottle he claimed he took to the noggin.
