14 Harrowing Tales of Poop, Puke and Pee from Celebrities
If John Wick is your favorite movie, you can thank Keanu’s puke.
Madonna’s Bizarre Variant on Peeing in the Shower
While recuperating from her Madame X tour, she posted a video of herself taking an ice bath and sipping a teacup of pee-pee: “It’s really good to drink urine after you’ve got out of the frozen bath.”
Wolf Blitzer Very Nearly Hurled on Live TV
A 2024 interview shows him pursing his lips and expanding his throat pouch like a frog, before the camera abruptly wipes him off the screen and his interviewee continues his spiel solo.
Al Roker Had to Parade His Ass to the White House Bathroom
A newly skinny Roker overestimated his colonic capacity while visiting the White House: “When you have a bypass and your bowel has been reconstructed, you think you’re pretty safe and I probably went off and ate something I wasn’t supposed to. I got to the restroom of the press room, threw out the underwear and just went commando.”
It Sure Sounds Like Nicole Kidman Peed on Zac Efron
In 2012’s The Paperboy, Efron’s character is stung by a jellyfish, and Kidman’s character comes to the rescue with a fresh douse of pee. It’s been reported that she straight-up tinkled on his face, and she has said, “The peeing thing, I didn’t think was that weird, because I was in character. That was for the jellyfish.”
Jennifer Lawrence Can’t Stop Puking
She says she yakked at Madonna’s post-Oscar party in 2014, and got a finger-wagging from Miley Cyrus. Then in 2023, she ralphed at a No Hard Feelings press junket in the aftermath of a Hot Ones appearance.
Gwyneth Paltrow Is on the Verge of Inventing a Crystal Butt Plug
A rumor reverberated around Hollywood that Paltrow instituted a no-sleepover rule after socialite and demi-celebrity Derek Blasberg crapped a guest bed at her Hamptons home.
Alicia Silverstone’s Intuitive Parenting
Aside from routinely feeding her baby chewed-up food straight from her mouth, she also said she barely needed to use diapers, because she’d always know when he needed to go: “The cues part for me was really fun because I thought he was flirting with me because he’d do this little smile. That’s when he had to pee.”
Keanu Reeves Acted His Guts Out
He said his John Wick stunts took a whole lot out of him: “There’s a couple of times where you throw up or puke or whatever, but that’s what makes it good!”
Nick Kroll Brewed Up a Business Dump
He told Conan that in one particularly busy morning, he had two cups of coffee and a fruit smoothie at three different business meetings. When he was five minutes from his home, he realized, “Oh no, this caterpillar wants to turn into a butterfly,” and ended up with “a travel-sized pillow worth of brisket” in his car seat.
Meghan Trainor and Daryl Sabara Got Twin Toilets to Go Number One Together
Trainor said they got two toilets installed in their bathroom, and while they regularly piss simultaneously, they’ve only pooped together once: “He’ll hang out with me while I poop. It was just, I can’t take his poops.”
Tracy Morgan Can’t Catch a Break
His latest public health scare happened courtside at a Knicks game, when he puked suddenly and uncontrollably, forcing the game to stop for 10 minutes. He posted from the hospital that he’d had food poisoning, but on the bright side, “the Knicks are now 1-0 when I throw up on the court.”
Sharon Osbourne Tried to Save Ozzy With the Power of Poop
Sharon said that she found a bag of Ozzy’s weed in a hotel, then asked her daughter Kelly to poop in it. Kelly declined, so Sharon filled the bag with dook herself, put it back, and everyone suffered the consequences when Ozzy found it: “He went nuts and chased us down the hallway.”
Women Can’t Pee at the Met Gala
In 2017, Bella Hadid said she was “sewn in from the top” into her outfit, and wouldn’t be able to take a leak until after the event. Kim Kardashian said in 2019 that she “won’t be able to pee for about four hours.” Sabrina Carpenter chimed in recently that “this is my third Met. Never been to the bathroom once.”
The Guy Who Puked on a Dozen Stars in 2013
A guy once went viral for puking on 12 different stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in one night. He ate a special brew of milk and Doritos to puke on Wesley Snipes, his “most hated person on Earth,” he said Meryl Streep and Olivia Newton-John were “affectionate pukes,” and he regrets not having the stomach to get to Pierce Brosnan or Johnny Depp.
