Of Course Rob Schneider Is the One Comedian Against Stephen Colbert
On a day when comedy united to oppose the firing of Stephen Colbert, one voice howled in the wilderness to denounce The Late Show host. That’s cancel-culture hater Rob Schneider, who decided getting canceled wasn’t so bad after all. He also found a way to work anti-vax rhetoric into the conversation because in a world where everything seems upside-down, Schneider’s gonna Schneider.
“Stephen Colbert Cancelled!” was Schneider’s headline on Instagram, a spiteful celebration that makes sense after the SNL alum complained, “Colbert never had me on his show!” Neither has liberal bastard Jimmy Kimmel, he griped before begrudgingly correcting himself. (Fact check: Schneider has guested on Kimmel at least five times, according to IMDb, but that truth doesn’t fit the narrative that late-night talk shows won’t book conservative comedians.)
Forget the Paramount sale — Colbert got canceled because he refused to speak to “the 47 states” that didn’t share his left-wing views about “women who have junk between their legs,” said Schneider, throwing the obligatory hunk of anti-trans red meat to his followers. Colbert’s narrowcasting approach “is just not going to pay the bills,” Schneider said, ignoring the fact that Colbert enjoyed the highest ratings among the late-night hosts.
Don't Miss
Schneider, whose recent book, You Can Say It: Speak Your Mind, America, currently sits at #45,871 on Amazon, wrote a FOX News op-ed reminding Colbert that free speech has consequences. “Colbert fed liberal slop to his liberal-minded Kamala supporters and cared less about challenging them intellectually by actually appealing to their higher nature or engaging in thought-provoking debate,” he argued.
Colbert was the jerk who “had dancing syringes on his talk show, cajoling his audience into taking the experimental gene therapy while he and Kimmel and even President Biden shamed and belittled the unvaccinated.”
That kind of comedy has consequences, a fact that Schneider understands. After all, he got fired from a movie for being anti-vax. “I, for one, value my freedom of speech more than making money,” he said as an explanation for Adam Sandler not hiring him for Happy Gilmore 2.
At least Schneider admired the way Colbert fired back at Paramount and Trump in the wake of his dismissal. “That took guts,” Schneider wrote. “I will give him that.”
But Colbert got what he deserved for ignoring conservatives, Schneider wrote, doing a victory dance via this QAnon word-salad: “The freak show Woke empire of intolerance and envy in the guise of good manners has fallen from its purity-enforced grace and America’s flirtation with repackaged communism is dead.”
What comes next for late night?
Schneider wishes we could all return to the days of his youth, when kids would “climb into Mom and Dad’s bed” (careful, Rob) to watch The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. “He didn’t alienate anyone,” Schneider marveled. And that’s what America needs — a late-night host who includes everyone.
Everyone except those women with junk between their legs. And people who vaccinate their kids. And men who get pregnant. And liberal-minded Kamala supporters. And the Woke. And the State of California. And the Biden Justice Department. And…
