Jon Stewart Ridicules Trump’s Calls for Austerity While Living in Saddam-Like Splendor
American children will have to cut down on dolls and pencils, so says the billionaire President who is throwing himself a $90 million military birthday party with our money.
Right now, both American consumers and the worldwide economy are feeling the effects of Donald Trump’s escalating tariff war with all of America’s most important trading partners. While the unelected Elon Musk and the unchecked Department of Government Efficiency continue to eliminate government jobs and government programs, shoppers across the country are experiencing sticker shock when splurging on such unnecessary luxuries as school supplies and toothpaste. But the President will keep their struggle in mind and plead for them to tighten the belt while he plans a massively expensive, taxpayer-funded military parade this June 14th (his birthday) that even a Middle-Eastern dictator would find garish.
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As Daily Show host Jon Stewart pointed out during tonight’s show, Trump’s comments from his interview on Meet the Press yesterday, in which he suggested that American children will have to cut back on toys and school supplies, ring hollow when you consider how the billionaire himself lives. While footage from a tour of one of Trump’s many gilded personal properties underscored the irony, Stewart sarcastically cracked, “Trump has a monastic view of simple living that says, ‘Hey, what if Saddam Hussein’s palace had a view of Central Park?’”
Stewart mocked Trump’s braggadocious assessment of his own lavish living quarters, saying that the Manhattan penthouse featured in the clip is “what it would look like inside Marie Antoinette’s vagina.”
“I do want to hand it to Trump,” Stewart caveated of his interior design criticism. “If you notice, (there is) a very sparing use of pencils and dolls. He does walk the walk.”
As Stewart pointed out, the kind of austerity that Trump is demanding from everyone who doesn’t live in a gigantic mansion atop a skyscraper wouldn’t fly under previous administrations. “Here’s the truth,” Stewart started, “if a Democrat had even hinted at toy rationing for American children, we would have a full week of Fox News reports on the sobbing children of socialist America and a boom in gun-toting patriots going, ‘You can have my G.I. Joe when you pry it from my kung-fu grip.’”
“But at least we’re finally getting to address, in a substantive manner, Trump’s chaotic stewardship of what was the world’s most stable economy, and how Americans will have to sacrifice financially and tamp down their consumerist impulse,” Stewart stated before playing another clip from Trump’s Meet the Press interview wherein the president tried to justify his expensive birthday parade.
“This is the brilliance of Trump,” Stewart asserted. “In the same interview where he says to Americans, ‘Sorry about your Christmas, suck it up,’ he talks about a $90 million parade that just so happens to fall on his birthday and is totally worth it!”
Then, after playing a clip of Trump saying that his birthday parade will feature and celebrate all of America’s best missiles, submarines, tanks and weapons of all kinds, Stewart addressed the commander-in-chief head-on, saying, “I don’t know, Mr. President, if you know how submarines work.”
