Josh Gad’s Script for the ‘Twins’ Sequel is Utterly Deranged

The opening of ‘Triplets’ is like a fever dream
Josh Gad’s Script for the ‘Twins’ Sequel is Utterly Deranged

The long fabled Twins sequel, Triplets, reportedly would have turned the lucrative DeVito-Schwarzenegger duo into a trio by adding Eddie Murphy into the mix. But following the death of director Ivan Reitman, it seems as though the project has now completely fallen apart, freeing up Murphy to make more baffling holiday movies. 

Weirdly, one of the film’s co-writers was Josh Gad, who’s probably better known for his snow-based voice work than for his writing career. To be fair, Gad does have a few script credits to his name, including for the short-lived sitcom 1600 Penn, in which he played the son of President Bill Pullman, presumably because it was set in the Independence Day universe. 

While we may never get to see Triplets, Gad recently shared the first several pages of the screenplay on Instagram and they’re wildly unhinged. This movie seemingly would have been even wackier than the first Twins movie, a lighthearted comedy predicated on secret eugenics experiments conducted by scientists who may or may not be ex-Nazis.

Triplets opens with a montage of Julius (Arnold Schwarzenegger) and Vincent (Danny DeVito) hurtling through the 1990s — singing along to Nirvana, playing Dance Dance Revolution, learning Tae Bo and “mourning Nirvana.” And who amongst us wouldn’t pay to watch the star of Commando weep at the news of Kurt Cobain’s passing? The brothers buy neighboring “McMansions,” become successful business partners and grow old together, wearing “matching bifocals” and “old man sweaters.” 

But just three pages into the script, things take a depressing turn. On the eve of their retirement, Vincent bankrupts their company after making several terrible investments behind his brother’s back. Vincent shamefully leaves town right before Julius’ wife (played by the late Kelly Preston in the original) tragically dies. With his wife gone and his children all grown up, Julius decides to become a literal white savior, performing good deeds in “third world” countries, and eventually, heading to Africa to battle “machete-wielding militants.” That’s seriously what happens on page four of this script. 

After saving five babies from a “burning hut” and beating up the extremists, Julius pursues the “Militant General” by mounting a zebra and chasing down a Jeep. Yes, this movie would have had a car chase in which Arnold Schwarzenegger rides a zebra. While Vincent is stuck working demeaning jobs such as “porta-potty cleaner” and “sword swallower,” Julius becomes a political folk hero and ends up winning a Nobel prize, Morbius-style

And if one tragic death wasn’t enough for the opening minutes of this movie, Julius and Vincent’s mother, Mary Ann, passes away, too. And for some reason, she never once told them about the “Black baby” brother we learn about in the final moments of this prologue. 

Of course, it’s impossible to judge an entire script on just a few pages. According to Gad, when his work was finished “everybody read the script and loved it.” So it’s entirely possible that Triplets could have been a comedic masterpiece. Then again, it’s also possible that it would have been even worse than Junior

You (yes, you) should follow JM on Twitter (if it still exists by the time you’re reading this). 


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