‘SNL’ Weekend Update Jokes That Have Aged Perfectly
Go looking for old Weekend Updates on the official SNL YouTube channel, and you’ll mostly find Dennis Miller or Seth Meyers handing off to someone doing an in-character desk piece. We’re guessing the reason why is that Update’s topical humor doesn’t age well as a rule. An early Chevy Chase Update, for example, includes punchlines about talk show host Mike Douglas, red dye #2, Black activist Eldridge Cleaver, assassin Sirhan Sirhan and Patty Hearst. If none of those subjects ring a bell, the jokes will likely fall flat.
But not all Weekend Update gags are lost to time. Here’s an assortment of Update jokes that have aged perfectly, either because they’re timeless or because their subjects are more relevant than ever…
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Norm Macdonald
Broadway Video
Unfortunately, the proliferation of gun violence in America isn’t going away anytime soon. Macdonald explains one reason why: “In Walnut Creek, California, anyone who turns in his gun can now get free therapy. And anyone who does not turn in his gun can get free anything.”
Jane Curtin
Broadway Video
Admittedly, Roy Rogers and Dale Evans are antiquated pop-culture references. But “64-year-old cowboy” is all you need to paint the mental picture: “Sixty-four-year-old cowboy Roy Rogers stated this week that when he dies, he would like to be stuffed and mounted on top of Trigger, his dead horse, who is also stuffed and mounted. When asked to comment on this, Dale Evans, Roy’s affectionate wife, said that she, too, would like to be stuffed and mounted but not necessarily in that order.”
Chevy Chase
Broadway Video
No one remembers Professor Backwards. This joke is timeless anyway: “The popular TV personality known as Professor Backwards was slain in Atlanta yesterday by three masked gunmen. According to reports, neighbors ignored the professor’s cries of ‘Pleh! Pleh!’”
Seth Meyers
Broadway Video
We’re fans of Update jokes that could have been told during any era of the show’s history. This one is from 2007: “A Long Island cat was the first cat in the New York region to undergo surgical hip replacement, which was just several thousand dollars more expensive than the more common practice: total cat replacement.”
Dennis Miller
Broadway Video
Amy Poehler
Broadway Video
As climate change becomes more of a global crisis, Poehler reminds us we could always be somewhere worse: “Sunday is Earth Day, so SUCK IT NEPTUNE!”
Tina Fey
Broadway Video
Every bit of this one: “An entire school showed up at a George W. Bush rally in Dearborn, Michigan, this week to complain to the governor that their building is unsafe and they lack books and teachers. A sympathetic Bush promised that if elected, he’ll take care of the students the best way he knows how: By executing them.”
Jimmy Fallon
Broadway Video
Who knew this punchline would feel so relevant in 2023? “A bill to allow pet ferrets in New York City was passed by the City Council Wednesday and now must be approved by Mayor Rudy Giuliani. Or as he is known in the ferret world — Our Fearless Leader.”
Kevin Nealon
And finally, the guy with the record for most decades as a Weekend Update punchline: “Donald Trump’s mother was mugged for $14 this week.”
Broadway Video
