Thought Chevy Chase Couldn’t Get Worse? You Haven’t Heard Him Rap

It’s even whiter than you imagine
Thought Chevy Chase Couldn’t Get Worse? You Haven’t Heard Him Rap

Documenting all of the ways that Chevy Chase is a miserable goon has become somewhat of a cottage industry, with former co-workers continuing to find new ways to throw gasoline on the comedy dumpster fire. Surely we have reached the natural limits of reasons to detest Chevy Chase, right? 

But just when you think we’ve reached Peak Chase Revulsion, something else creeps out from under the baseboards to send another disgusted shiver up our spines. Yeah, Chevy Chase made a rap record.

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Weird Al Yankovic would be embarrassed by “Rappers’ Plight,” a 1980 parody of “Rappers Delight” featuring none other than the C-H-E-V-Y to the C-H-A-S-E on the mic. Rather than the original’s ode to early hip-hop, Chase’s “Plight” casts the comic as — get this — a drug dealer! To be fair, this was a pretty common comedy trope in the early 1980s, when the very mention of cocaine was enough to elicit hysterical WHOOOOOOS! from wannabe-hipster audiences. 

After rapping nursery rhyme nonsense over Chic’s familiar “Good Times” beat, Chase lets loose with the jokes (as best we could decipher the lyrics):

Well welcome, Jim, you’re in the house of Slim
And I’m happy to say that’s me
Dig! The party don’t stop if you want to bop

I got uppers, downers, LSD!
Don’t be low, have a blow and it will get up and go, Joe

Have yourself a little breeze
A toot for the snoot if you wanna go the route
I got grams, quarters, I got oz’s

You get the idea. Chase is joined by other slurring rappers on the track, with the main punchline being, “Hey, we’re effed up on drugs!” It’s Cheech and Chong meets Chase without the street cred. But “Rapper’s Plight” is far from the only witless track on Chase’s self-titled album, rare enough for an autographed copy to be going for $300 on eBay.  

“I Shot the Sheriff” is another Weird Al-esque parody, although Weird Al would have done the Wailers the courtesy of changing the name of the song. You know how in the original hit, Bob Marley didn’t shoot the deputy? In Chase’s version, he does shoot the deputy! Haw haw! The guy’s on a dang mass shooting spree!

I shot the sheriff
And I also shot the deputy
I shot the bailiff
After toking all the PCP

Oh yeah, Chase is still on drugs. WHOOOOOOO!

Weirdly, the album contains a goof on Randy Newman’s “Short People” — weird because the original track was already a satirical novelty record, making this a… spoof of a spoof? Once again, Chase can barely bother himself to change the lyrics. Just as “I did not shoot the deputy” became “I shot the deputy,” “Short people got no reason to live” becomes “Short people got more reasons to live.” Genius!

We’ll leave you with Chase’s comedic riff on the Beatles classic “Let It Be.” We know what you’re thinking — surely he changes the lyrics to “Don’t Let It Be”? Nope. This time, he enlists the producer of the Alvin and the Chipmunks records to speed up his voice to a high-pitched rodent squeal in an otherwise straight cover. That’s … it? That’s the joke? 

Yep — and despite the acceleration, it’s going to be the longest three minutes and 16 seconds of your day. 

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