13 Hasan Minhaj Jokes for the Hall of Fame

13 Hasan Minhaj Jokes for the Hall of Fame

Hasan Minhaj is a hilarious truth-teller. From his work on The Daily Show to The Patriot Act, Minhaj has been able to harness satire, current events and black humor as a bullhorn for action, speaking to American masses. After all, the guy won a Peabody for a reason. At a time when lesser comics will cry “canceled” at the slightest sign of resistance, Minhaj literally got a show canned by an entire country while still being one of the most under-represented voices in the room. His solution: Get right back to work.

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And so, it’s only suitable that we honor the guy by presenting some of his best jokes and moments for our Comedy Hall of Fame...

On the Difference Between Hindus and Muslims

“Hindus and Muslims are like the Montagues and Capulets of India, and we’ve been warring for centuries. I know some of you are like, ‘What’s the difference? I take yoga; all you guys look the same.’”

On Turkey

“I hate turkey, by the way. I think turkey’s overrated; that’s my hot take. If I told you guys right here, right now, ‘Hey guys, guess what, I got turkey for the entire audience.’”

*Audience woos*

“No, you wouldn’t say that! Did you feel exactly what you guys did when I said I got turkey for the entire audience? You viscerally were like, ‘What?’”

On His Wife’s Delivery of His Daughter

Minhaj goes over the birth of his child and how impressed he was with his wife’s ability to push out a human being while making plans to binge Peaky Blinders.

On Early Facebook

Early in his comedy career, Minhaj went into detail about early social media and how Facebook updates became vague bits of news. It’s really a time capsule.

On Getting Slapped By Your Parents

“Americans hit on the arm and bruise the body; Indians slap on the face and bruise the soul.”

When He and Ronny Chieng Roasted Each Other

Both Minhaj and Chieng battled (and united) over tokenism within The Daily Show and in life, along with being hilarious about it.

On Relationships With Immigrant Fathers

“You’d be like, ‘Dad, what’s your favorite color?’


“‘What? I want to know more about you.’

“‘Why do you want to know about me? Get into Stanford!’”

On Visiting the Doctor

“I’m at that age where I don’t like going to the doctor. Because a lot of doctors are my age. And they’re Indian, so I might know them!”

When He Asked Kids What Mattered to Them

On The Daily Show, Minhaj was tired of seeing all the outrage and punditry regarding social issues being done in the name of children. So, he sat down with some actual kids to see what they thought of how adult decisions impacted their lives and get their opinions.

On Getting Married

“She put a ring on it, one ring to rule them all, to be exact. It’s kind of like a reverse Lord of the Rings situation where I got a ring and lost all my powers.”

When He Hosted the White House Correspondents’ Dinner in 2017

“Welcome to the series finale of the White House Correspondents’ Dinner. My name is Hasan Minhaj or, as I’ll be known in a few weeks, #830287.”

When He Quit Twitter on ‘The Daily Show’

Twitter is the shittiest platform on planet Earth. It’s worse than Tinder, and Tinder gives you genital herpes.”

On Racism

As the son of an immigrant, Minhaj often had to debate with his father regarding how to react against racism, along with the multi-tiered, nuanced battle that it can be on top of how many fewer questions are asked of you when you’re white.

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